Hello everybody I have a question. So there is this girl in my class who I am very attracted to (I figured out I liked her a month ago,and the semester ended today) and during the semester we have only exchanged glances (made eye contact multiple times) and like 2 weeks ago I talked to her for a few mins about the coming exams n shit. I was extremely nervous and she could probably tell.
So, my question is, I never got a chance to ask for her socials or number or anything, as I’ve got social anxiety and it got complicated with finals (school first) . BUT I did find her FB account , is it weird if I hit her up on FB ? To get to know her and maybe become friends or whatever. Let me know what you think. I’m afraid our classes will not line up again and I’ll never see her again.
Keep in mind, I’ve never done this before, and I’ve never really tried to pursue anyone in my life so I’ve got little experience with women and whatnot, which is why I was unable to talk to her majority of the time, got too nervous.
1 comment
Hello OP,
Hopefully this will get you out of your nervousness: she is likely dating other people, and you should be too. DO NOT focus solely on this girl until you two have a direct conversation about being in a closed relationship and both agree to do so. Even during the first few dates, it is 100% okay that you are also dating other girls, and until you both agree upon a relationship, it is okay she is seeing other guys.
Here’s why I’m saying this: inexperienced pursuers have more ideals than grounded reality, and tend to put 200% of their effort and focus into ONE person. For that girl (or any girl) you’re pursuing – that’s often scary and comes across as obsessive and desperate. You kind of back her into a corner of not wanting to say “yes”, but also not wanting to say “no” and end up breaking your fragile heart. So that’s where the mixed messages come from, when her answer is basically a “no.”
What you do: I need you to flirt with, and at least ask out ONE OTHER girl – anyone you find at least decent – BEFORE you attempt to add this girl on social media and ask her out. You are allowed to date multiple girls – what you cannot do is lie to them and say you aren’t seeing anyone else if you indeed are.
Dating is not about being with a specific partner, dating is about giving YOURSELF opportunities to learn how to navigate social situations, gain experience, and learn what you want in partner/spouse.
Again: ask out multiple people, be honest to all of them, date for your own self-growth.
Best wishes, OP