If you could choose any super power, but it could only be VERY mediocre, what super power would you choose?

34 comments

1. I would pick not having to wipe after poops, just a perfectly clean non smelly butt-hole..

   Lol 😂

2. Fart ventriloquism.

3. My power would be that I’ll always find a free parking spot very close to my destination.

4. If I could choose any superpower, it would be the power to read people’s thoughts. Although it would be a very mediocre superpower, it would still be useful in many situations.

5. Fall asleep at will

6. The ability to know exactly when microwaved food is hot enough to eat without burning your mouth.

7. Impervious to papercuts

8. So to make sure I’m understanding the question, I can have a power but it can’t be an awesome power like super speed, flying, regeneration, right?

   Because if that’s the case I’d like the power to be fluent in any human language on the planet.

9. Instead of superhuman strength and speed, just REALLY high level athleticism

10. To tell when someone is lying.

11. Always having green lights in traffic.

12. The ability to restore left-overs to the quality they were at when originally cooked. It won’t help the world, but it’ll help my depression.

13. Dopamine Man! – Lower or heighten people’s dopamine levels

14. A 6 foot radius where no bug may enter.

15. Social skills.
    Even at a mediocre level, some is way better than whatever I’ve got..

16. It won’t be a superpower, but just a power. My power would be the ability to small talk

17. The ability to pee exactly where I aim.

18. When thinking negative things about me , people will trip and fall on their face

    Edit: when

19. Change my eye colour at will.

20. To be average at everything.

    I can do anything but just average.

21. The ability to cook perfect meals

22. To shoot snot rockets 60 feet away so I can get my coworkers from a distance

23. The ability to get up when my alarm goes off the first time.

24. I have full control of butthole portal!

    Need a shit? I can just go and have the poop appear in someone else’s pants.

    Someone tried to stick something up there without consent? Well go ahead, but I’m teleporting straight to going up your butthole instead.

    Want to steal something? Just slide it up there and have it fall into my bedroom, safely away from prying eyes.

    Need a fart? Can just let it rip and have the noise and smell come from anywhere I want, even right next to someone’s head.

25. An ability to walk through crowds of tourists without getting stopped in front of, or jostled.

26. I would have the power to make people feel really guilty about their sins.

    ​

    for I. AM. GUILTYMAN!!!

27. If it’s a mediocre super power is it really a super power or just a mediocre power?

28. How can it be super and very mediocre simultaneously?

29. I can blindly reach into my pocket and always pull out exact change.

30. Really low level telekinesis, like being able to snuff a candle or nudge a ball on a roulette table.

31. OP – I’m enjoying the effort you’re putting into this thread. Made me laugh!

32. Heh, this is a question I ask at parties! Only instead of “very mediocre” I always ask “can’t be used either for crime or to fight crime”.

    I always liked “Can see the future so long as there aren’t numbers”

    “Microwave fingers. Always be able to heat up hot pockets”

    “The gift of flight but only to stop myself from experiencing a fatal fall. Like, feather fall but in real life”

    “Know all the stats: not just ‘how far is the earth from the sun?’ but stuff like, how many baseballs have been swallowed by sharks? What are the odds of being licked by an alligator on a Thursday? When will the last high five be offered and will the person be left hanging?”

    “Laser-pointer eyes. So I don’t have to point where I’m looking and people just know what I’m trying to indicate at a distance”

    Stuff like that.

33. I used to exit through the front door then go around and come in thru the back. My kids would ask what the Hell I was doing. I’d tell them it was my superpower.

34. No need to sleep..could get so much done..full 24 hours to myself and never get exhausted