Will I ever find a relationship?

Will I ever find a relationship?

I had to make a different account just to post this because it’s sort of embarrassing but I am 16 years old I’m a Junior and I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life,I’ve never had my first kiss and I’ve never even held hands with a girl. There is some stuff about myself that I think is part of the reason I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m short, I am 5”5 with shoes on most girls probably want a tall guy to date. I have acne problems, I have scars from acne all over my face and honestly I think I look ugly because of the scars. I also have really oily skin no matter what I do which causes me to break out even more. My hair, I am black and I used to have longer hair and I would use a curl sponge on it to twist it up but during the summer my stepdad made me cut my hair and now it is growing back very slowly. I can be very awkward sometimes like when people hug me I’ll hug them back but I look uncomfortable I don’t do it on purpose it’s just something that happens I guess. My voice is also high pitched, I can try to talk deeper but my normal voice is high pitched and when I try to talk deep for long periods of time it makes my throat hurt. I act kind of feminine but I grew up around women and I guess I just started acting like them too, people sometimes assume Im gay just because of the way I walk,talk and just anything but I’m really not. I can’t really help it though. I also have a bad sweating problem most people don’t notice it but I find it uncomfortable.

I have talked to girls in the past. The last girl I talked to I thought she really liked me but when I asked her out she rejected me. I have also liked other girls but I would either get friend zoned or they would ask am I gay and if a girl asks a straight man is he gay that basically means she doesn’t like him. I don’t know how to flirt anymore, even in middle school I could flirt and I even had a few girls that actually liked me but then I don’t know what changed I just started to get more awkward around girls. Matter of fact the other day I went to Publix to buy food because I was making dinner for me and my parents and the cashier looked around my age and she asked me what I was making and I was like “Chicken Alfredo” and then she laughed and she was like “when you make it give me some” and I laughed and said “Yes ma’am” and then she asked if I played any sports cause I looked familiar and I said “No ma’am”. The conversation is just embarrassing to even type out, I wanted to say more but I couldn’t because I’m too awkward around girls.

There is a girl in two of my classes that I have a crush on but she’s so quiet and the only times she really talks to me is if she needs help with an assignment or if we are talking about someone we both know. But other than that we barely talk. I want to get to know her but it seems like she doesn’t even want to talk to me because I’ll ask her something and instead of giving a response she’ll just laugh and smile at me. It just seems like every girl I like I have no chance with and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever even be able to experience a relationship ever in my life. Most of my guy friends have girlfriends and I feel like I’m left out. I’ll see them post pictures of them in bed with their girlfriend or at the mall with them and I honestly start to feel lonely, am I going to be lonely forever because it is sure starting to feel like it.

I’m not looking for compliments I am just genuinely curious will I ever find a relationship? I can’t flirt, I’m not physically attractive, and I’m awkward. And don’t tell me to work out please I already do that and I still feel ugly.