Basically the title. I’ve just always been kind of clueless with women and I don’t really know how to flirt with or meet women in real life. Or to shift from friendship to something else. I actually do have a lot of female friends, acquaintances, and classmates, so it’s not like I’m just flat-out socially inept. I guess with a lot of them I just feel like it would be inappropriate and unprofessional to try to make any kind of moves or ask them on a date, so I never try. Or I feel like I’d look creepy, which is also why I don’t cold approach women in public (even though I want to sometimes). I would also never in a million years ask to get fixed up by my friends, because that’s pathetic and one step away from personal ads and prostitutes (George Costanza said it best). As far as OLD goes, I only have Bumble (I was banned from Tinder and Hinge) but I hardly ever get matches, and if I do, they usually just stop responding after awhile. However, almost all of my romantic experiences in the past have been through OLD but they usually just led to hookups, which were nice in the moment but emotionally unfulfilling in the long run and led to me just feeling used.
I’m approaching the end of college and still not yet in the workforce, but since I’m 24 and older than most of my peers, I’m simultaneously too old for 18-20 year olds and too young/inexperienced for 24-30 year olds, most of whom are already established in their careers, whereas I still live with my mom and work at Walmart in my hometown. I live about 45 minutes away from my school, so I’m not active in dorm life or any clubs, and it would be a hassle getting involved with someone who lives kind of far away.
As far as hobbies go, I’m a musician and I’ve been playing the guitar for 10 years now, but I don’t play in a band or gig anymore. It’s a pretty solitary hobby of mine that I’m fairly quiet about.
I guess the biggest insecurity of mine is my appearance, since I’m shorter than about 2/3 of women I meet and almost all men, plus it doesn’t help that I still look like 18-19 and I can’t really grow a beard. I just feel too boy-ish for them.
Anyone else in a similar boat? I hope this post doesn’t read as self-pitying, I just needed to get this out here.