Not 1on1, mostly in group/outside settings with strangers; also I don’t mean on interpersonal level – I can read individuals (mood etc.) quite well
I am pretty decent at communicating directly, but terrible with absolutely anything else xD … My major problem is mainly when I am at a new environment or situation, and there’s some unsaid rule at the play, so as a result you’d misread physical cues or totally miss out on them – or perhaps there never were any to begin with, you were just expected to “know”). I also don’t feel too confident communicating when I am at a loss about what to do and thus the anxiety hits, it’s like at that moment I become hyper aware of others / too self-aware, and my brain cells just die
Also in regard to foreign countries – last time, I got the bus driver yelling at me cuz at a particular city you were supposed to wait the queue at the front, and not go from the back ;-; Almost died on the inside. It didn’t occur to me at the moment that something could be different. I didn’t enjoy being yelled at
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I don’t have advice but just came here to say I could have written this post. Would be curious to see what answers you get.
In the end, if it’s ‘unsaid,’ it’s could very well end up being a toxic environment anyway, and those people don’t respect you. There’s a term for that, and it’s called ‘walking on eggshells.’ Please don’t feel like you have to be a master at reading social cues or feel like you have to be a psychic to fit into your environment. It’s soul sucking, people pleasing and it’s just not worth it, unless it’s with someone you’re REALLY having to brown nose for a higher track in your career, someone you want in your circle to get a higher social standing (if you roll that way, that is), etc. so, if you’re unsure, and you get that vibe of things being unsaid (like when people look at each other oddly or with the slightest smirk when you say or do something) then simply ask. I will say though, that someone should be kind enough to volunteer that info though and take you to the side and verbally let you know what’s going on before things even start to get awkward. That’s a nurturing respectful environment where people want to understand you and are open to maybe talking to and befriending someone who isn’t just like them. At the end of the day, variety is the way of life and if all my friends were just like me, I’d be bored as hell.
I am the same way, I overthink social situations all too much, and sometimes I have encountered people who would side eye me, got passive aggressive with me, trash talk me without letting me know what I was doing, because they expected me to read their minds when I didn’t even know what was going on or the decorum to follow. Seriously, what do they expect? I’m not psychic. So, as a result, I simply removed myself from those situations, whether it be jobs, social events, etc, because I knew those people weren’t going to respect me as a person. I always dance to the beat of my own drum, I know I love people and am respectful, but I have my innocent little quirks in my personality. If people have a problem with it, then that’s their problem, and I don’t change for anyone. At the end of the day, if I’m interested in the people and trying to make genuine connections with them and get to know them, I don’t give a damn about social decorum (unless I’m in another country and need to adapt to their culture, but I never visit any other countries because the world’s bonkers anymore, and flying is too expensive so that isn’t in line with my lifestyle anyway) and ‘unsaid’ micro-rules for any particular group. If they aren’t used to humor? I use it anyway, while keeping it at a tame level that is appropriate for the environment I am in and the people i am around. Keeping the distinction between professional me and non-professional me, and just keeping the settings in mind is important, and sometimes I mess up (especially after having been a recluse shut in for almost 3 years, including the year before the rona) but usually people are accommodating and they put me back on track if I do or say something that is mildly unsuitable (not inappropriate, just unsuitable) for the environment in which I’m in. I’m not diminishing or altering my personality just to fit in with people who are learners just like I am on this Earth, and you shouldn’t either. If they micromanage my behavior or have a problem with me and my innocent quirks and call them ‘weird,’ well then I know that those aren’t going to be my people, and I just say ‘SAYONARA bitches’ and move on to the next social group lol