Hello there, fellow Redditors. I’m gonna try to keep it short. 4 years ago I (22M) had a ‘relationship’ (distance) with a girl (19) for about a year. Even though we weren’t living close enough, we’ve been through many -strange- situations. Although, we never had sex. But I can say it was the most intense and serious relationship I’ve ever had. And when we broke up, it absolutely destroyed me. Fast forward 4 years,it’s been a couple of months we’ve started talking again. And even though we haven’t still seen each other face to face due to many circumstances, it’s intense again.
She has told me that she understood that I’ve always been the right person for her, indirectly told me she has had experiences (dates etc), and the best thing she could do in her life would be to be with me (and that her biggest mistake was the way she broke up with me years ago).
We talk every day, all day long. And she is planning on coming the next month to stay with me, she even wants to meet my family..for a whole month. And I’m planning to do the same. Generally, to pass as much time as we can together (she is now finishing her degree). Generally, things are great. I couldn’t think of anything better to happen to me. If I don’t text her, because of any reason she would text me ‘Where is my man?’ Or thank me for sharing my thoughts with her. I’d say I couldn’t ask for anything better
My problem? Due to my -generally- low self esteem for my looks, alongside her being an absolute 10/10, many times I’m thinking I’m just not good enough for her. And I’ve caught myself being ready to text her ‘Don’t bother dealing with me and my problems, im pretty sure you can find someone better. Leave me alone’.
I’m not sure if it’s only my low self esteem, or/and the fact that after breaking up with her, my sex (and dating) life was an absolute zero. I won’t complain, I’ve had women being interested in me, but..I couldn’t care less. And in her eyes (at least of what she says), im the fucking Lotto for a man, whom many women would be interested in.
Any food for thoughts is more than welcome. I know I don’t think straight, but I really can’t help it.