Folks with trauma, how do you handle feeling broken beyond repair?

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  3. Therapy until you think you’ve unpacked everything. Then more therapy

    ETA: you also have to remind yourself that you aren’t broken, there’s nothing wrong with you. everyone has some form of trauma, to a lesser extent or greater degree. this is why therapy is important b/c you can say it 1000 times to yourself and still not believe it. therapy will help unpack the trauma yes but you also have to believe that statement yourself.

  4. Yeah, therapy. I feel like a lot of people want to believe there’s something else, some magical way to heal yourself. But trauma is a fracture of the mind, and the mind is a part of the body, like a foot or an arm. If someone breaks their bones, you go to the doctor to have it reset, then probably some physical therapy. It’s logical that you’d go to the “mind doctor” if it’s not functioning in a healthy way. There really isn’t anything else to say. I think individuals have their own coping methods, lifestyles, mantras and reminders that help them personally, but that’s just personalized maintenance and rehab. If you struggle not to feel broken beyond repair, then you need a professional. They can help set a solid foundation and then guide you into determining what ways you can do everyday maintenance on your own.

  5. The most empowering thing I’ve realized so far is that healing with trauma is not about getting back to what you were before or even what most would consider “normal.” It’s about growing through, past and around until you become whole again, even if that whole is quite different from who you once were.

    I’m submissive with sexual partners and probably always will be thanks to deep rooted conditioning, grooming and abuse. I can fight that, I can hate it, I can do all kinds of things about it but I can also accept it. There *are* healthy and safe ways to express submission in consensual, loving ways. It doesn’t *have* to be through over violence or manipulation; it can be freely given and not taken by force.

    Maybe if I had never had the life I lived, I wouldn’t be submissive at all. Maybe it is solely the result of trauma rewiring my sexuality to need to please and obey a sexual partner. I’m slow to trust and skittish around strangers. The list of quirks and issues goes on. Some people might call me broken but this is who I am. I find trying to undo the changes life has wrought in me in an effort to return to my own idea of who I *should* be is less productive (and fulfilling) than trying to learn to love and understand who I am *now*.

    I’ve found a lot more joy in life learning how to express and fulfill my needs in safe and positive ways than I ever did trying to become “normal.”

  6. I’ll be honest I’m a member of narcotics anonymous and I work the program. I do step work, community service work for my group, have a sponsor I tell my whole life to, and I go to meetings. I also do therapy outside of that, as well as have Hobbies I throw myself into when I just need to disassociate from my life.

  7. Look up Michael Singer, seriously transformative and effective work.Focus on post traumatic growth.

  8. I realized I get to decide who I am going forward. My abusers and my traumas can’t make those choices for me anymore. I can be whoever I decide to be, and the only one standing in my way is myself.

  11. So happy to have come here and see therapy!! I’m going in the right direction!!

    Edit: Be choosy on your therapist. Find someone who can help you unpack what’s going on but not judge you.

    I’ve been through a lot of shit. Some therapist would get overwhelmed or judgy with me. That’s how I knew it wasn’t a good fit.

  12. Therapy and time. Therapy allowed me to face the trauma but time allowed me to understand that you can grow around it.

  14. Therapy and meds did help some for me. Also the passage of time where I just stopped thinking about it as much.

  16. I don’t know if it’s trauma. But I have had a serious rough childhood lasting all the way into my twenties. I have just accepted that I’ll eventually die alone. I don’t trust anyone claiming they like me. And I don’t like nor trust psychologists. Really bad experiences with those. I also highly doubt talking would fix anything. And I think I’m too old to start dating. I’ve never done it, I would be terrible with it. People my age have kids that are nearly adults. Nah, it’s too late.

    How I handle it? I found the underlying problem that caused my trauma and I’m correcting that. And I couldn’t be happier, which is basically a first in my life. But knowing I’ll always be alone… Yeah, that stings every now and again.

  17. I’ve just kinda given up. I can try to address specific issues, but then life piles on more and bigger issues. I can’t keep up with what keeps getting dumped on me. You can’t recover from trauma when you’re still actively being traumatized, and I can’t get out of the situation I’m in. What do?

  19. Lots of people said therapy. I’ll be the first to say that I did not heal through therapy. Matter of fact, I had no money for therapy. My trauma definitely imprinted my life in very unfortunate ways; I totally flunked my university grades, lost friends and close family members because they didn’t believe that I was traumatized, I made reckless decisions, etc., and all of these things I’m having to deal with now.

    It’s been about 2.5 years and I still deal with it. No as much as I used to, but it’s still there. I just feel like trauma isn’t something you get over. You learn to live with it. I’m still a broke university student, and I hope to get some professional help one day. For the time being, I’ll just call free mental health hotlines and do mediations and stuff.

  20. Years of searching for help.

    I’ve found relief in: ancient Greek philosophy (started with [On the Soul](http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/soul.html) by Aristotle back in HS), Jordan Peterson’s lessons on Genesis of the Bible ([link](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL22J3VaeABQD_IZs7y60I3lUrrFTzkpat)), Fraser’s Dissociative Table Technique ([link](https://ritualabuse.wordpress.com/tag/dissociative-table-technique/)), and most recently, integrating the Table Technique with both self-parenting tips and the newly found knowledge of Internal Family Systems.

    🙂

  21. Medication for sure. I’ve been on a couple different ones and the ones i’m on now make me feel so much better

  24. stopped giving a fuck, no point if it’s not fixable. just gonna wait til something comes along and makes it better

  26. Time. it helps with accepting that what happened cannot change and that my trauma doesn’t define me. It used to be my talking point, saying “xyz happened to me” and everyone’s standard reaction of gasping and saying “omg”

    but then I was able to build up my life again from all the BS, and now I can talk about so many other things about myself, hobbies, interests, etc. THOSE are the things that define me and as time goes on, “xyz” that happened to me seems so…boring in a sense. i say this with the full knowledge that my trauma is nowhere near the worst things that can happen to a person, but nonetheless, it’s what i lived and struggled through and time was one of the biggest things for me.

  27. I plan my suicide in my head when things get hard, and hold onto the idea I could end it whenever and I won’t be alive and suffering forever. I don’t have to work thru any of it, I can just stop

  28. That’s a difficult one. What i did was apologise internally and outwardly to everyone who had to know me for the fact I exist. But that’s not very positive I guess lol

  29. therapy never helped me. antidepressants and Adderall are what help me. Adderall is for ADHD but also for PTSD. I also try not to think about certain things. But they just pop in my head and I can’t help it and I have a panic attack and my body temperature gets really hot and I start sweating. the best thing I can do is try not to think about it.

  30. A recommended read is “The Body Keeps The Score”. Many resources online. My path included/s therapy, support groups (religious), reading, meditation, yoga, mindfulness, and working on my attachment style. Find your path, and always know you are worth the work. On the other side (the healing work is ongoing) there is peacefulness. Virtual hugs!

  32. Asking for help, therapy, meeting with your doctor, discussing & then taking medication, doing the work in therapy, no self medicating with alcohol/drugs, exercise (yoga/mediation is phenomenal), self care, not laughing at your therapist when she suggests “adult coloring” (that shiz actually works and I have never laughed at any of her suggestions again), allowing yourself to grieve. One positive thing I have worked through in therapy is opening up and being honest about my feelings with my family & very close friends I trust. I usually shut down, don’t address and never ask for help. I usually just figure it out. That has changed. It is scary what stress/trauma does to your body. I am also no longer ashamed that I am in therapy or on medication and I am open about it. It was surprising that the more honest I was the more I found out I wasn’t the only one. Me being honest with a very close friend allowed her to open up about her feelings and she started therapy and medication. It’s scary how bad things were, but I am very proud of myself for where I am at, and where I am going. I still have more work to do, I have bad day but I also have great days. Now I have multiple tools in my tool box and I am so grateful.

  33. I dont. Meds arent helping, and a society that wants to push me into work even tho I cant handle the stress at all isnt making it any better.

  34. You have to decide for yourself that you are NOT broken beyond repair.. that you will not allow those who hurt you to still jave power over you and your heart, mind, or future. You decide to take that power back. You get therapy. You get yourself to a place they cant get to you anymore. You block all communication with them even if they are family. You embrace yourself and your future and you take it back from them. You take it and feel good about it. Its a process… but whatever it looks like for you.. its YOURS and they can not have it.

  35. Not well, honestly. I truly am tired of hurting all the time. There are no breaks from pain anymore.

  36. Time. Feeling like I needed to figure everything out and feel better right away -if ever again. (It’s been over a year and I still struggle everyday) Also, talking to a professional when you feel beyond repair. You are not alone. And things may not feel the same as before but knowing that you learn and grow from trauma.

  38. I repair the broken in manageable pieces with the tools I have: Therapy and cannabis.

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