Both late 20s. He uses reddit so not giving ages.
A little info. I’m not skinny I’m overweight and was dignosed with binge eating disorder. Im trying to eat better and work on it. (edit) I am working on a diet and going to a professional about it.
Onto the story
We just got done doing the adult dance and we’re laying in bed and I hadn’t taken a shower for a while and I could smell my BO. So I asked
“do I stink?”
He replied “no but you do need a diet..shower”
He quickly tried to fix what he said. I heard him unfortunately. He said that his wires got crossed, the blood wasn’t in the thinking head and the food challange video that was on the screen behind us must have made that word pop into his head Now not only was it bad enough but it hit a trama spot for me. I had a guy say after the deed (still in the stable) “you need to lose some weight” And my abucive ex would grab my fat and call me chubby.
He has apologized and I can see he Truely feels bad.
But damnit it’s been 2 days and I still am angry and hurt and things he will be doing will just suddenly anoy me.
I love this man with all my heart but idk what to do. I don’t wanna be mad and don’t say “well then just stop being mad” it’s not that simple. My brain has latched on and is playing it on repeat like a bad song
Tl;DR partner was riding the high of sex and said I needed a diet instead of a shower and now I’m mad even tho he has apologized
7 comments
There are two possibilities here, one is he really wants you to diet and the other is that he really did have his brain latch onto the wrong word and he feels terrible and he never meant to say that in any way. There’s no real way to be sure which it is, but I do believe in trying to give a partner the benefit of the doubt. If the person generally seems supportive and good, then if it could have been an awful, stupid mistake, then maybe it was just that. I’ve said weirder things when my brain messed up. I once was trying to say something and mixed a bit of a song lyric I had been listening to into it and ended up with total nonsense. Sadly, what he said wasn’t nonsense, but it could have been just a much a simple brain misfire.
Accepting it as that is not easy, but I think trying to do so is best, since it’s all upsides and no downsides as far as I can see. If he actually treats you poorly, then you’ll notice that. If he just spoke badly one time, then it’s worth it to try to set this aside as nonsense, even though it sounded like something quite painful.
Id be more worried that I could smell my own BO than him accidentally saying diet just being honest
Rude question: was either of those sentence endings false?
How about you write down what you feel and why you feel that way? Afterwards throw the page away. It helps to process and let go of heavy emotions.
Your partner had a “don’t say this, don’t say this… aww crap” moment: it happens, he feels bad and has already apologised.
Your angry, pissed…livid and you are going to be. Regardless of who said it the fact it came out of some one you love mouth hurts and you are going to react in the appropriate way.
Im glad you are upset at this because you know the struggle you are going threw just to do better by you, for no one else but you.
But slip ups do happen trust me on this my own wife was once a male now a female….i married her before she came out as transgender…..10 years of being with someone and if slipped up a few months back and said Husband instead of wife and i saw how much I hurt her saying that but a few days of her being upset and me apologizing for my mistake she realized I truely was sorry and it was a slip ups of words now she gets a kick out of it saying my word vomit got the best of me.
Take a few days with your anger and hurt then see how you feel….but dont stop doing better for yourself im proud of you for that.
Rule of thumb: If you can smell your own BO you fucking REEK to other people and I mean people in other rooms could probably smell you, you should never need to ask “do I need to shower” lol.
It’s always noticeable to others before It’s noticeable to you.
And honestly if that show was on in the background his excuse is definitely plausible, I do this all the time if I am talking to someone and my girlfriend is talking to me I will consistently call her their name, and if a show is on in the background I will make the same mistake, once I quite literally called her peter twice because of family guy in the back, so.
Exactly!!! I work up a sweat enough your gonna smell me!!!
He aint wrong though every couple has something that will never go away in their heads your dudes smart on that one and im glad to u both talked it out though. He understood your emotions which for a lot of people is harder as shit to do and he wasnt upset for you feeling that way.
Your dude is awesome in that aspect