There’s a girl that I think is pretty at my job, but I never get time to speak to her since she’s in another department, I want to get to know her better, since I don’t really have time to speak to her, and I wanted to know if any of you have had success with asking a friend/coworker out that you barely knew, at all. Is it even worth it?
32 comments
No
It’s never worth it. Never mix business with pleasure
Worked for me. When I was in grad school I saw this cute girl from another department at a new grad student meet and greet. Briefly introduced however didn’t think much of it. A few weeks later I realized she lived in the apartment building across the street from me. I got her apartment number off her reserved parking spot. Walked up to her apartment and reintroduced myself.
We’ve been married 25 years.
You will never know if you don’t take a chance and try. What you got to lose?
Ur gonna get a number or a meeting with HR. BOTH Exciting nonetheless. Godspeed friend
Yes
Yes you should, and no , you shouldn’t. Pick the one you are wanting to do, even before you asked for the advice on doing it or not, and were hoping to find more answers that agreed with you.
Go for it. Plenty of married couples started out as coworkers. The big key, and I mean BIG key, is that you handle possible rejection with class. Meaning, if she says no, thats it. You do not ask her again, you do not bother her about it, and you do t be a dick about it. Just leave it alone, give it some time, and continue to act professional towards her like anyone else. As long as you can handle that, you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Also the fact that you don’t work directly with her helps a lot with the awkwardness if things go south
Try to keep it casual if you do decide too pursue her. my ex was a supervisor at my last employment, dated for 3 months before HR booted us both out. I felt awfully guilty as I initiated the relationship. We did end up moving im together and we’re together 3 years. But like I said to this day I feel awful she lost her job because of me.
People date coworkers all the time, but my advice would be to start slow. Offer to grab her a coffee, or tell her you bought an extra muffin in the morning and wanted to know whether she wanted it. Strike up a friendship and find out more about her. You’ll find out soon enough whether she’s receptive to an evening date but keep it light and friendly at the beginning.
Yes and then report back what happened in full detail.
If you can, try to build up a rapport first, asking her out when you barely know each other is very likely to end in rejection. That said you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take so if that’s your only option go for it.
For the people saying don’t, for some of us this is the only place where you can meet people, dating apps suck or we are introverted and dont go out much.
These days that’s a two edged sword, you could ask her out and find out she likes you and get a number and eventually a date, you could ask her out and she could go to hr and get you fired, or if your lucky in the no go case she could just say she’s not interested and life will move on like usual with no consequences to you aside from probably being a little upset she turned you down. So knowing all this the choice is yours. If you feel she’s worth the risk go for it, if you feel there’s a good chance she’s into you too go for it.
Meh, I say go for it. Unless you’re both in jobs that are irreplaceable (or it’s a company you want to stay with long term), you can always find a new job. Yeah it goes terribly for some people but it goes great for others.
BUT, I would say try and find a way to get to know her for a bit before just asking her out unexpectedly. If you’ve never talked or had any interaction with her, she’s going to be caught off guard and will likely say no.
My default answer is no bc if she’s not interested, it’ll get awkward fast, and you’ll have to run into her everyday at work.
NO
My advice would be to start out with small greetings when you pass/ encounter her. Like “Hey, how are you?” and “Good morning/afternoon” etc. If she responds kindly and gives off a good vibe then you can converse further and see how it goes. If she gives a bad vibe by ignoring or expressing some form of disinterest she may not be interested.
No you will get a call from HR lmao.
Half kidding but dating coworkers requires a bit more finesse. You can just abruptly do it. Build a rapport with her first. Say hi when you see her around, strike up a few small talk convos first.
Ofcourse you can just straight up ask her out next time you see her but in my experience that’s the riskier approach in a workplace.
Definitely not, ur risking ur job and looking like a weirdo.
If ur a high school kid maybe, or at a job u don’t care about
But risking ur career for someone who doesn’t even know u is just plain stupid and desperate
Plenty of fish in the sea I would advise u pick one that won’t have a high chance of u losing ur job or getting in trouble
Nah dawg. Unless you can organically start something with her and build a level of trust, it can turn out bad for you. If it doesn’t work out, things can get awkward. And people talk. You could end up being that dude who treats the workplace like tinder.
In my experience, keep personal and professional separate. Plenty of other options out there.
My last relationship lasted two years and we were coworkers- but I left him in June (for a lot of reasons but a major one was) because he had feelings for another younger coworker and would tell me about her all the time and well now I’m single and they’re together. But, I am also FWB with another coworker I met at my new job in June and so far so good if you ignore the part where he doesn’t want something serious and I do. I don’t even know if I’m recommending you do or don’t pursue a coworker but it can be risky so take it slow if you decide to do it. From my experiences- make sure you’re on the same page from the start to avoid relationship drama at work and make sure you review any company policies in regards to coworker relations to be sure you’re not risking anything there.
I think you know the answer to that
She is in a different department. As long as she is not your supervisor or vice versa, and there is no power dynamic, go for it!
No! This question always comes up and I say the same thing. Never date your co workers, especially in a corporate environment. Its never going to end well. Even if you break up mutual, now you gotta work with an Ex. Worst case scenario, your case is brought to HR and your career and reputation is tarnished as “ the creepy guy at work who hits on his female co workers”. Go out of the office and date the millions of other women you dont work with
Well, I’m dating a guy I met/knew from work (for ~4yrs). We were at different departments and would never cross paths in work, but one of his friends asked me to eat lunch with them or to join afterwork (friday) drinks (I’m a very aloof introvert), and ocassionally I agree. From there, we got to know each other better and he eventually asked me out.
No it’s not worth it. Don’t ask her out. You will risk your career and job. You don’t even have any rapport with this woman to begin with. Imagine a guy just randomly walks up to women and asks them out? How many takers would he have? Not many. I don’t believe in dating at work.
I am the head of my department at my office. With the permission of HR and the CEO (he is as conservative as I am). I implemented a no physical relationship policy at the job site. Between men and women, men and men and women and women. The policy is not broadly advertised but I saw it’s application when I worked in Saudi Arabia for 3 years. But I couldn’t implement the gender segregation here as it wouldn’t be accepted.
I would never ask out a coworker. Then again I’m the boss.
Yesss.. after dinner, ask her to make out n then make love oooyyeeaaahhhh
Honestly OP you’re in retail too so it’s even less messier to ask them out. I (24F) am in the same situation where I work in a different department than him and I find him so cute and we only get a couple hours to interact and make small talk in the break room. And I’d love if he asked me out. So go for it. Otherwise you might always wonder what could’ve been. Like that saying goes, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Nothing wrong with asking and respectfully taking whichever answer she offers.
After my last experience I really wouldnt.
Worst can happen is u both get fired
Go for it!!
Don’t get your meat where you get your bread.