I(31m) had a friend(30m) (I hate referring to him as that, I realize now he wasn’t much of a friend) from middle school that I’ve stayed in touch with. This friend has done a lot of terrible things and I always felt uncomfortable around him.
The school we met at was a Christian school. His family sent him there in the hopes that he would become a decent person by going there. He gets very easily offended and starts fights with people. In gym class he threw a baseball bat at a kid for no reason. One time he got mad at me, lifted me off the ground by the neck and would have punched me if teachers hadn’t pulled him away from me. He bragged one time that he liked to hurt animals and watch them suffer.
He broke and vandalized peoples belongings for no reason. He stole my homework and drew genitals on it several times and gave it back to me. I used to throw it away and then I’d get in trouble for not turning in my homework.
There was a kid he was friends with that he just randomly decided to start relentlessly bullying for being gay (I don’t think he was, its just his go to insult). It was so bad I was afraid this kid would hurt himself. He eventually switched schools because of it. My friend brought it up a year ago and still thinks its funny.
As you can imagine, he was in detention all the time. He insists to this day that he was a good kid and did nothing wrong.
In high school I did online classes from home and he went back to public school but we still talked and played online games together. During that time he seemed like he was a decent human being.
As adults he got fired from several jobs for threatening people. A year ago, he told me about something he did at his first job after high school. His coworkers teased him about being a virgin. He had no interest in dating but he went out and got a girlfriend for a few days. He did the deed and took nude pictures as proof without her knowing and showed them to his coworkers to get them off his back. He dumped her immediately afterward. I told him I was disgusted and appalled by this. He had no regrets about it and just acted like it was just something that had to be done.
He’s a single father now and somehow has custody of his kid. He seems to like talking to people about his kid to get them to believe he’s a good person but he’s told me a couple times he doesn’t like his kid.
A little over a year ago, we started playing a game online together. He got mad at me repeatedly and ghosted me twice for months at a time. After the ghostings he acted like nothing ever happened and wouldn’t acknowledge it if I tried to talk to him about it. During the second time he ignored me I met someone else in the game and hit it off with him pretty quickly and became my main friend this past year. I realized I was better off without him.
When he eventually came around, the three of us started playing together and he joined the groups we are part of. After a week of being in one of the groups he got offended by something someone said and quit for a couple months. He rejoined until a girl in our group said he sent her a text calling her a bunch of expletives. He denied it but she said she had screenshots of it. He wanted everyone to take his side against her and when nobody would take sides he quit the group a second time and blocked everyone except me. He was annoyed that I continued playing with them and didn’t quit out of solidarity. A couple months later he tried to rejoin that group a third time but they wouldn’t let him back in. He made another account and someone let him back in. He quit the second group we are part of after a blow up for a few months but has recently rejoined it.
Every time he gets mad and quits playing with us I hope that’s the last of him but he keeps coming back. He’s been playing a different game lately and haven’t seen him playing this one much but he’s been back on the last 2 days so I’m afraid he’s back.
Me and my new online friend have been talking about eventually playing other games together. I told the online friend I didn’t want to play future games with the other friend and he agreed he wouldn’t tell him or invite him. The online friend talked to a few other people about joining us for these other games. I worry that my friend will find out through these other people and end up following us.
2 days ago when he logged on and joined us while we were playing I sent a private text to the online friend saying “I hoped that sociopath finally quit playing this game”. He responded “lol just don’t worry about it, it’ll be ok” The online friend says he agrees that he gets upset too much and is kind of annoying but I don’t think he fully understands just how bad this guy is. I told him he wasn’t a good person but I was vague about it. I’ve been thinking about telling him everything I said here. Not sure if I should.
TL;DR: I want my sociopath friend out of my life but we have mutual online friends that I don’t want to give up.
2 comments
Just block him on everything?
Block him on everything and tell your friends that you won’t try to control their actions but if he is invited it will be a hard pass for you. If they ask for details you can tell them you’ve known him since primary/middle school, he’s a bully, and you have decided not to tolerate him any longer. They’ll probably take your side but if he does get accidentally brought in again you’ll have to follow through with what you said and leave the group until he’s gone. Eventually exfriend will do something dumb and they’ll see him for who he is anyway.