I (F19) have been dating my bf (m19) for almost a year now. On nights we don’t sleep together, we FaceTime to sleep. I came home from architecture school and I’ve been sleeping more often then not. Tonight, I slept at 9pm. He wakes me up at 11:40ish yelling my name. I get up and I’m confused, mind you just waking up, I’m thrown off and my head is all over the place. He confronts me about moaning and I’m confused with what he’s talking about. I was sleeping. He tells me I was full blown moaning, LOUDLY and when he began calling for my name, it got quiet, he heard lots of shifting before I wake up. I was just confused and I didn’t have any clue what to say. I WAS OUT CONSCIOUS. He kept asking me if anyone was in my room or if I had a weird dream- could not remember my dream. Then he expresses he was concerned and making sure nothing was happening without my consent. Then proceeds to underhandedly or backhandedly tell me “…or with your consent” and he whispered it. I kept asking him to repeat it because he knew it was wrong and didn’t want me to hear it. He then just yells at me and says that I made him do it.

I get up out of bed, turn on my lights and do a 360 of my room, showed him all of it and then he asked to see what I was wearing: a pair of shorts and a baby tee. He then just tells me to call him back because he doesn’t wanna speak to me anymore. I go use the bathroom and then call him back twice. He says he wants to talk over text. I ask him why and he said he didn’t want to go over the situation again.

It just throws me off some more because it just felt like at that point, there was nothing else to talk about so I was about to just let it go and watch some shows to fall back asleep. He calls to talk about it again and he is saying he was concerned and agitated and that I agreed that I would be concerned if it were the other way around.

One thing I should’ve mentioned was that I was trying to explain issues revolving around my sinuses or trying to talk in general and he just kept cutting me off. Since I was a kid my parents said that I’ve made weird noises in my sleep due to sinus and/or breathing issues. He was asking if full blown moaning was normal and I was explaining to him that on my mom’s side of the family it is more common then he thinks. He just give a long pause and says he no longer wants to FaceTime me and I ask why- he says I should just respect it.

Was I being gaslit? Am I in the wrong? Am I crazy?

TLDR: I was moaning in my sleep and I had no explanation for it because I was asleep and my boyfriend just kept yelling at me for it. Even after showing him no one is in my room and that my clothes are on.

5 comments
  1. G A S L I T. Finding any reason to start a fight then act like u need to prove his delusions aren’t true (showing ur room and clothes) who tf full on moans in their sleep. NO ONE. Dump the man fs.

  2. Yeah he sounds like a creep. I am not sure I would call this gaslighting though because he isn’t denying you’re reality. But it is definitely messed up and not healthy. I would run tbh.

  3. I mean, yes gross overreaction but also why are you FaceTiming all night while you sleep? Just say good night and good morning. Some boundaries and time alone is healthy at any point in a relationship and especially early on.

  4. Huh? Wtf is going on. You fell asleep at 9 and he woke you up at 11:40? So you two were on FaceTime for over 2 1/2 hours as you slept? That is odd. Why is this a thing, who actually does this

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