This thing resulted for me being shy on sharing my opinions on the matter because I might “open pandora’s box” and just become straight sad after I discover that the thing i’ve been doing is wrong. Had a discussion with my sister about this, and she said you don’t need to “follow” what others deem “right”, some people protect their principles and that’s the right thing to do..
What do you think? What do I need to do? Because this is costing my mental health and I always feel shy whenever I talk to people..
2 comments
Hi OP,
I’m hearing you saying that you feel you are wrong when someone has a different opinion. Is that right? If so, it sounds to me like there are two potential issues. First, it sounds like maybe you are uncomfortable with conflict–that is, that it bothers you to “clash” with someone else, opinion-wise. Second, that maybe you’re not confident with your opinions or views–that is, you are concerned that maybe they are incorrect, or ill-founded.
Do either of those perceptions sound right?
What this sounds like is that you are attaching your ideas to closely to your sense of self. So someone saying that you are wrong you interpret as meaning that there is something wrong with you.
A healthy response to putting out a thought is one of non attachment.
When I put out an idea or a comment someone can respond in several ways.
They can agree with me an reinforce my belief. “you are so right” that is always fun, but be careful about this, it can become a trap.
They can tell me I am wrong and present facts or data that prove me wrong. The healthy response is “thank you, I didn’t know that” as the world has become more tribal, there is entirely too much “my guys are perfect and your guys are all crooks” particularly in US politics, there is a lot of “pointing out” of issues of corruption, where the problem is being done across the board, and the real issue is systematic. Be willing to talk with those who you politically disagree with about points of commonalty is healthy. But you have to be willing to ignore the attacks on “your guys” and look underlying issues.
People are often wrong. So you are going to want to learn how to “smile and nod” with people who you don’t agree with, who you will not change their minds. This is not personal.