Hi, is there anyone who experienced similar situation? how did you deal with it? Did it get better after some time? I can’t get the girl out of my head, im scared that he will sleep with her again even though he told me that it was truly traumatic experience for him and he stopped in the middle.
But my head can’t stop overthinking about him cheating on me with her in the future.
For the context: we were eachothers first, 3,5 years together, we are 20 and 21
6 comments
Please do forgive my honesty here but I have serious doubts that he felt it was traumatic or that he stopped half way though. He’s possibly just telling you what he thinks you want to hear and I understand your overthinking. I’d be doing the same, even as a 40 year old man. One of my exes cheated on me with a friend of mine and there was no way back from that, despite all her assurances. It just would not leave my head so I completely understand what you’re saying. You’re young, you have time on your side; I’m assuming no kids, mortgage, merging of major elements of your life – this makes things easier on a practical level but please do be prepared for you to not be able to move past it and to not be able to stop imagining things. That’s kinda how we’re wired.
Ultimately, you know what you can cope with on a mental level and I wish you the very best, with whatever the outcome may be.
I had a similar experience earlier this year. My gf now ex of three years emotionally cheated on me with some guy she just met, i found out, we broke up. Then she fucked him like a week after i moved out. And i wont take her back.
No way it was ”traumatic” for him.
I had a similar experience. I was seeing a coworker and was really into him. He broke things off with no real explanation and I pretty much only saw and spoke to him at work. Another coworker kept hitting me up and I kept declining because I was still hung up. After about a month I finally decided to go for it because I needed to move on. When guy#1 found out he was livid. He told me how could I break his heart like that and he was just about to ask me to rekindle things. I was shocked. I had no idea he ever cared. After some time we started getting together just as friends and ended up seeing each other again. I never cheated or spoke to the other guy again.
He might have gotten belittled during sex.
She might have been smelly.
It could have been super weird.
What if she crapped on his belly?
Seriously, he probably just needs a sex partner he is emotionally close to and got anxious and uncomfortable.
He could have just said the sex was bad or kept silent about it.
By telling you, he sparked your imagination, which makes you worry, but it actually indicates that you don’t have to worry.
Back when my husband and I were first dating our relationship was pretty volatile and we fought a lot, so we went on a month long break. He had sex with someone else, a girl that he sort of dated before he met me. The main issue I had though, was he wasn’t honest about it and I found out from one of his friends. I was absolutely crushed. Like sick to my stomach for days. Couldn’t eat or sleep. It was horrible. Sort of like your bf, he said the sex was bad. Supposedly she was a virgin, she was on top, he just laid there and eventually stopped her, etc etc. I have doubts that’s how it went down.
But regardless, we got back together shortly after that. And then we got engaged and married and we’ve been married for 13 years. So yes, I think with time you will eventually get past it. If I really think about it, I might get a tinge mad or jealous. Sometimes I’ll tease him about it. But truly it doesn’t matter because we have a life together, a good marriage, and I trust him 100%. We were young and immature at the time and people change.