My girlfriend and I both enjoy power play. We’re both enjoy both sides of the dynamic, but more often than not, I am doninant. We’re into choking, biting, forcing positions, giving orders, a little bit of cnc, etc.
However, we never used any toys. Both of us aren’t really experienced, so we decided to start easy an bought a rope quite some time ago. But we never used it. It never felt like the right time to try it out because we were already making out. Getting the rope would lead to an awkward pause. Also, while the thought about her being restrained turns me on a lot, the thought about actually tying her up makes me kind of nervous because I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.
Now to my question: How can we include this rope in our sex life, how do I initiate tying her up and how can I feel more confident and comfortable in this situation?
Thank you all in advance 🙂
7 comments
It’s OK, and actually a good idea in BDSM, to have conversations ahead of time about how this will go. If you want to use the rope, specifically, you can start with one end already tied to the bedposts so it’s readily available. Look up videos of how to tie the knots correctly and practice. Consider a role play scenario to give you a “reason” for the rope. Or skip the rope and start with something like a scarf that she can be wearing. You can use the scarf to wrap up her wrists and hold the other end down with your hand, but don’t tie the other end to anything else. So she gets the feeling of being restrained but is also easily released if she feels uncomfortable.
A while back, I bought [this](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016E0HVP6?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share) set up for only $24 delivered. It’s very quick to get going and doesn’t require a skill like a rope.
Bed restraints would be less hassle
I highly recommend starting with velcro cuffs or under bed restraints not the rope. I’d panic sets in you need to easily let them free. Definitely toys add alot to the dynamic if you want to get into forced orgasms etc, the app controlled ones are great fun for you to sit back and watch her squirm. All the lovense toys are brilliant
To be honest I think it might be hot to not say anything and just go and pull it out. She’ll know exactly what it’d be used for and get turned on. And if she asks what you’re doing just be like “you’ll see”. Then you could order her to lay down and if she doesn’t want to you’ll know she isn’t in the mood for it. Then toss it aside and do some dirty talk and just get right back into it. That’s my take on it, maybe it’s cringey but hell it’d be hot if my boyfriend did that to me.
Start simple with tying her hands together while standing during foreplay. Either behind her back or in front and have some play time. Sometimes I tie my wife to a chair and use vibrators or rat her out. There are videos on how to do body restraint tying up.
Rory brainwash on YouTube has some good videos. Also look for books on Good Vibration website. Also if u have a sex positive store in your area see if they hold classes. Most of our rope play involves tying someone to a chair or the headboard. But it comes down to how adventurous you two want to be. The way we learn is to make a few drinks, put on some music and just take turns tying each other up. Keep a phone or tablet ready in case u want to look something up.