My older brother is 29 years old and has never had a filter growing up. He would say all sorts of mean things growing up like call me ugly, fat, useless, dumb***, say that I have no friends, etc. I either ignored him or told him to look in the mirror. My dad always told him that he needs to think before he says things but something about his brain and personality makes it impossible to do that.
I have been working out consistently for the past few weeks and eating healthier for some months now. I’ve been able to lose 20 pounds. My brother told me that I should try keto because he’s been able to lose 8 pounds already. I’m happy for him but I personally am not a fan of keto and would prefer my method so I just told him that I’m not trying to lose weight at the moment. He proceeds to say “oh so you want to be fat with a bunch of muscles”. I worked really hard to get to where I am and it was really discouraging to hear that.
When I had an altercation with a friend, I mistakenly told my brother about it. He proceeded to blame me when all my friends and my partner took my side. He would bring up this friend that I broke up with and ask if I’m going to “miss her”.
My brother has no friends and has never had a partner, and I’m not surprised because he has no filter and doesn’t have much going for him. He’s still in community college and living with our parents. He’s overweight as well. Yet he still has the audacity to bring me down. I don’t want to stoop down to his level and attack back because that’s not me. Sometimes I do but it just feels like a childish conversation.
My brother also avoids my boyfriend whenever he comes over. When he sees us downstairs he says “oh sh**” and runs back upstairs. The only time my brother has properly had a conversation with my boyfriend was when he needed something out of him so my boyfriend could help my brother build his PC. My boyfriend also said “I’ll gladly help your brother but I’ve had this happen to me before where I feel someone only wants to talk to me because they need something.”
When I talk to my brother it’s like talking to a kid. The maturity level is just not there. It’s definitely better than when we were younger but I really want to avoid having any sort of conversation with him.
I love my brother but sometimes I don’t understand why he has to word vomit all the time. I feel really uncomfortable when he is near me because I anticipate that he’s going to ruin my mood. How do I deal with someone with no filter?
1 comment
It doesn’t seem like his problem is that he doesn’t think before he says things, the problem is that he is a mean person. Idk what your living situation is, and maybe this seems harsh, but if I were you, I would just avoid interacting with him as much as possible. He’s 29 and has never shown improvement or a willingness to try to be nice to people. He doesn’t have no filter, he’s actively antisocial. If that’s how he wants to live, fine, doesn’t mean you have to be subjected to it.