My (23f) Bf (19M) and I have been serious for about 9 months. We talked about a threesome early in our relationship. I was kinda open to it but ultimately decided against it. I went through my phase of one night stands and just don’t like it and decided I wasn’t doing it anymore. I just think it would harm our relationship and I would feel like I’ve done something wrong and cheated on him. He has been bringing it up again a lot. He said it’s a fantasy of his that’s he wants to fulfill. Recently found out he talked to 2 of his friends (16m & 16m) about it and they fucking agreed to it. I thought he was joking. Really surprised me now I wonder what else he has told/shown them. If I did do it I wouldn’t want everyone to know about it and now I think he would tell everyone. We are around these guys all of the time so now I feel really uncomfortable around them. He has also suggested we just get a random guy.
I know a lot of people have open relationships and this is pretty common so should I do it once? I don’t think it’s that big of a deal to not do something like this but clearly something he really wants to do so I’m having a lot of conflicting feelings and can tell that he is frustrated, but also don’t think it’s cool to keep pushing me into doing it. Seems like it would be weird for everyone after. I have talked to my friends and they are neutral.
TL;DR boyfriend wants a threesome and I don’t. It’s becoming an issue
15 comments
If he wants this and you don’t, that’s an incompatibility that you shouldn’t overlook. At your ages, you have a significant difference between you, and it gives him a “power” advantage that you shouldn’t let him use to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. If you say no, make it clear to him that no means no. If he doesn’t like it, move on with your life.
It sounds like you’ll probably end up breaking up after a threesome anyway. If you think this alone will pacify him, it sounds like it won’t, given how hard he is pushing this on you. He will want you to do more things, even if you don’t want to. Doing this to preserve the relationship isn’t going to preserve anything.
And you’re 23 years old, don’t fuck his 16-year-old friends just because they all think it would be hot. Besides being gross, that may be a crime where you live.
Honeymoon period is over at 9 months. It’s common to break up after the honeymoon period, for a variety of reasons. Sounds like you need a more mature boyfriend who respects your boundaries.
It is absolutely okay to say “No,” and you don’t even have to offer a reason.
My experience has been that if one person wants to start adding partners to the bedroom and the other party is against it, the relationship is already over.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Period. Your boundaries are yours, and you don’t owe a justification to anyone. If he doesn’t respect your boundaries, that’s dangerous, disrespectful, and a huge red flag, and you should break up with him.
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, and if he doesn’t accept your no and continues to push after you told him to drop it then maybe this isn’t a good relationship for you. Also that he proposed his 16-year old pals? Nope
I know it’s only 4 years difference but at your age, that 4 years difference is quite significant in terms of maturity.
Honestly this relationship has an expiry date and with how he’s pushing you, and especially with a 16yo, it’s probably best to move on from this and find somebody more mature.
> Recently found out he talked to 2 of his friends (16m & 16m) about it and they fucking agreed to it.
Absolutely shocking behavior by….uhhh two adolescent boys. I guess my biggest question is why you weren’t immediately revolted by the idea of sleeping with two 16 year olds and instead your biggest concern is who would know. Guess if I was in your shoes I wouldn’t want people to know either.
EEWWWWWW 16?????? DUMP HIM. Hes not committed to you whatsever, its just sex for him. Sounds like he has the threesome figured out with 2 of his male friends lmao
Threesomes are a situation everyone has to say “hell yes” to it. And you have to be prepared to see your partner having a great time with someone else — maybe even a better time than they have with you. Is he prepared for that?
It is deeply disturbing that your boyfriend wants you to fuck his friends who are children. If you consider this a serious relationship, you are in trouble.
16 year oldsssss ekkkkkkkkk no thanks they are basically a children yikesss
Why does your 19 year old bf want you to sleep with literal boys.
Girl why is your TWENTY-THREE boyfriend even FRIENDS with 16 year olds and talking about sec with them. Sorry but he sounds like a loser and it sounds like you deserve a normal guy that can respects your wishes and doesn’t want to do underage kids
Your boyfriend is trying to pressure you into a sexual act you don’t want, you realise what that is right ?