Im will never be confident. I have multiple traumas and my life has been a chain of one bad thing happening to me after the other. Im also physically unattractive and everybody always told me that im ugly and i have an anxiety disorder. Im currently in therapy and my therapist is really good. But im such a mental wreck that truly being confident is just not a realistic goal for me. Of course i can improve my situation so that im not as insecure as i currently am. But my issues are just so extreme that i will never be confident the same way Normal people are and if confidence is such an important factor for women than i think i genuinely can give up on relationships.
8 comments
Confidence is not a major factor, but it does help. You don’t want to be arrogant, but if you’re constantly talking down about yourself, especially in front of them, that can come across as a reg flag or unappealing.
I wouldn’t listen to other people’s criticisms, especially if you wouldn’t go to them for advice. And there’s things you can do to enhance your natural beauty!
I also have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and it definitely is a hard thing to get over, I’ve been in therapy and on meds too, and recently my friends have started to call me the “confident friend”, which I would’ve never have thought would happen in a million years!
I think a starting point that helped me was, do you ever remember anyone else’s minor embarrassing moments? Or just your own? Because that’s the same with everyone else! Everyone is too self absorbed to worry about or remember things about you that you might think is a big deal.
At the risk of sounding cheesy; You need to love yourself first before you can love someone else!
Work on yourself first, and you will find the right person 🙂
You need to be confident, but look attractive too. Funny, intelligent, well-educated, not too hot, not too cold. Misterious with a back bone and aura of a bad boy. Tattooed from sleeves to the neck, have the ability to say no. Mega bonus points if you are a great leader who is able to commend an army of followers towards your vision of the future.
Best of luck.
Yes and no. With OLD, your appearance and “stats” are more important before your “confidence”. But once you meet in person I feel it depends on how you act. How do you act that you feel is “not confident”? Is it speaking in “maybe” terms or not sticking to a “yes or no” action? Is it being more “manly” and taking the reigns on dates? Is it talking about your issues during dates etc.?
Do what I do and pretend to be confident
Confidence yes
Find the ways you can improve yourself and start in. This builds confidence. Loose weight if you need to. Go to the gym. A reason confidence is important is that women don’t want to have to be your mommy. Keep finding things to improve and work on them. It’s like compound interest. Think about the kind of strong confident person you want to be with and become that. You attract what you are. Anyone can improve.
Confidence is built off of positive feedback from past experiences. That’s all it is. You can fake confidence until you get some positive feedback but it’ll be hard. Especially with anxiety
For you I suggest hitting the gym and lifting weights because this will give you internal confidence outside of women. Looks are important but one of the good things about looks is besides height, you can mostly change your looks whenever you want. It’s just hard and takes time.
Honestly, yes. At the end of the day confidence comes across in many ways so you need to find something that you have confidence in and ride that wave until it spills over into other facets of your life. It’s a long procedure that requires effort and willpower but it’s entirely possible given you put in the effort.