One of my (f21) biggest fears as a sexually active heterosexual female is being “too loose” during sex. Every partner I’ve had has complimented my “tightness” but
1) I don’t know if that’s just something guys say to everyone to make them feel better?
2) sometimes when they have smaller dicks I will contract and hold so it’s more friction for us both, but a recent partner says it feels like I’m pushing him out when I do that and that it’s plenty tight on its own.
So is that a thing women do? Does it not really make a difference for the man? Is repeated contractions better?
Is it possible for a vagina to feel tight to a man when I really don’t feel much sometimes?
Thank you in advance for your perspective
9 comments
Learn Pompoir. It’s the greatest experience of my sexual life.
I don’t know about loose vaginas (I have one). Is it meant to be an insult? Kind of similar to telling someone they have a small dick.
Google says childbirth and age can cause it.
I should learn more about my genetitals!
I’ve experienced this exact same situation. I’ve concluded that we are indeed tight and they aren’t just saying it to say it. We have less nerves inside our vagina than they do on their penises. Thus it could be very tight for them but not feel like much to us.
I have never had sex with a woman with a loos vagina. I have had sex with women that were very wet and aroused.
I think the “too loose” is mostly nonsense, you don’t need a lot of pressure for stimulating friction. There can be a “too wet” where sensations are lowered, but you can manage that by changing positions or taking a short break to let things dry off a bit and get more friction back.
Vaginas tighten and contract and can be snug around a partner’s finger or stretch enough for a baby. I’ve found no overall difference with partners who have given birth and those who haven’t. Really the only thing that stays constant is that when a woman is really “in the zone” during sex, she will relax and tend to get a bit loose. I just take it as a compliment.
As far as contractions…and this is just something that I love…is when I’m still inside a partner after I’ve orgasmed and we are kissing and as I’m slowly getting soft, having a woman squeeze me is physically and mentally amazing for some reason.
Contract or not contract? There’s no one answer that is right. You should communicate with and observe your partner during sex. Listen to them and see how they react to things. Some like a little pressure, some like a lot of pressure. Some men are more sensitive and some less so. I second the pompoir comment. You can really send a man to the moon without a rocket haha
I think there’s a value in believing what your partners say. If you start thinking that every single one of them is lying to you then you leave yourself in a completely desolate place, like those dudes who are absolutely convinced that their perfect penises are too small.
Learning different r/pompoir motions can improve your *own* pleasure, but it sounds like your partners are doing fine
Ditch the too loose thoughts. Enjoy sex how you want. Clenching to milk a guy is amazing. But clenching all the time, especially if you’re strong from heaps of practice, wouldn’t feel great. He is correct that it can feel like you are being ejected. Listen to and experiment with him. Sex is fun, to be enjoyable and talking about it to learn is cool too.