my boyfriend gets more upset than i do

I (f20) have been dating my boyfriend (m25) for four months now.

I’m on holiday in another country so we had facetimed.

i told him that i had a bad day and i’m pretty upset, he ended up getting more upset because he doesn’t know how he could help me. i asked for words of comfort then he went on about how all the people in his life has hurt him but he is okay, and i should be okay too. i ended up getting more upset because i just wanted something simple like “it will be alright” or “sorry you had a bad day” but i didn’t even get that.

when i get upset, my boyfriend’s words of comfort is more of ‘i’m hurting too and i’m okay’ and sometimes the whole conversation turns into what he’s feeling, why he’s upset, and it just moves to him or another topic not even touching on any of my emotions. i feel like it gets overlooked or my emotions aren’t valid enough to talk about it.

his upset feeling for me ended up turning into anger, he was now really angry that he couldn’t help me, he felt useless. i then had to stop feeling upset, and worry for him and his safety. (he goes out for walks when he’s stressed). i had to cool him down, stay on the video call with him.

what i’m really trying to get at with this part is that i don’t feel like i get a time to feel upset, i have to worry about my boyfriends emotions that ends up being more worse than me.

Am i selfish for wanting some time to feel upset? I really don’t know how to go about this, i’ve only just talked to him about it and he has recognised that it didn’t help the situation and said sorry but i just don’t want this to be reoccurring. i really don’t know, sos.

TL;DR in times when i am initially upset, he gets more upset then i do so i have to comfort him when i had wanted comfort from the start. idk how to deal with this.