Context: We’re both [22M, 21F] in college and are on 4th year at our university. She has a boyfriend that’s in another state but is always very flirty with me. She’ll get up really close to me and look into my eyes. I think she’s beautiful and have known her long enough to think that I’m falling for her.
One night about 6 months ago, we went to our college town’s bar district with some mutual friends. After both getting really tipsy, I offered to walk her home (we live in the same apartment complex that’s really close to the bars.) We stop outside her apartment door and there’s this long pause before she goes in and says goodbye. Or maybe I only perceived a long pause… I’m not sure. Note that I never intended to sleep with her, even if she offered. I just wanted to make sure she got home safe.
The night after at 8 PM, she texted me asking if I wanted to study at her apartment. Immediately, alarm bells went off in my head. I knew she had a boyfriend, and there is a ZERO percent chance that I be an accomplice in cheating. So I lied and told her that I had a meeting with friends.
It never came up again, and we’re still good friends and have been for the last 6 months. She’s charming and pretty and sweet. She listens to me and laughs when I talk. I love everything about her… except that she invited me over at 8PM when she had a boyfriend.
I can’t shake this thought from my head. And I can’t help but think that even if she broke it off with her boyfriend and we started dating- that she would do the same to me.
I guess what I’m looking for is for someone to tell me that I’ve misread the situation. Maybe she really DID just want to study that one Saturday night. What do you think? I know a lot of people are going to be quick to say to move on, but I’m just so insanely attracted to her. And girls like her don’t notice me often/ever. I’ve been in a 5 year dating drought after a few failed relationships, am sick of hookup culture, and am getting pretty lonely.
TLDR: if a girl invites you over at 8Pm on a Saturday night to study, what are the chances she actually just wants to study?
5 comments
Hard to say, it’s one of those ones that it wouldn’t even make it to court because if it did, it’d get thrown out in 30 seconds. Not much in the way of facts, just your reading of the situation which nobody can else speak to and ambiguous action. Maybe the fact there’s been nothing else since suggests it was nothing and she was good to chill, but either way, all we’re doing is guessing. If she’s done nothing even ambiguous since, I wouldn’t dwell on it. Not saying she didn’t have wrong intentions that night, just not enough for me to confidently say she wanted to cheat. Sometimes you gotta shrug things off that you’ll never factually verify
Shes trynna order some ubermeats. Ejaculate and evacuate. Dont let the bf find out. Just remember you can either get ass or not.
Unless this woman sees this post and answers, there’s no way any of us would know.
You’re right dude. She probably wanted to hook up but who knows if she would have gone through with it. I don’t know anybody who gets really tipsy and then studies. That would be awful
You did the right thing
Given your previous interactions with her, the chances are slim and none and slim died yesterday she wanted to study. Especially if a girl’s grade is likely higher than yours or she has lots of friends in that class already.
I would not invite a girl over to study at my place if I intended to study. I’d offer up a library, common area, group event, zoom meeting. If I needed a study buddy, the last thing I want to do is creep a girl out by inviting her to my place.