I am at a professional school in the U.S., and I noticed that everybody addresses each other by first name without seeking consent, even when they are talking or writing to a superior. I have great difficulty addressing another person by their first name, especially if the person is a superior to me. Therefore, I always stick to Mr./Ms./Miss/Dr./Prof. + last name when I address another person, even if they addresses me by my first name. Is it considered disrespectful or rude? Thank you in advance.

27 comments
  1. I’ve never heard of students calling their teachers on a first name basis except for my music class where our teacher knows us really well and we jokingly call him by his first name.

  2. Oh no it’s not rude it’s a sign of respect but if they do want you to call them by theifirst name it means they think of you as a friend or at least someone they know well.

  3. It’s not rude. It’s too formal though.

    They are not above you usually. In America it’s about being part of the org and contributing so you don’t want to be concerned with hierarchy normally.

    This is required in some fields such as law/medicine

    Edit: didn’t realize you were talking about your prof. That is usually Professor unless they tell you otherwise. First name is weird there.

  4. No, not at all. In some circumstances it may be considered rude not to, actually, but in many places informality like that is still allowed and acceptable. While those calling others by their first name likely won’t be considered rude, addressing those in a formal position above you by their title would just seem extra polite

  5. Among your peers you use first name, all are equal. It sounds obsequious to call them by “honorific + last name” in an informal setting. Superiors, teachers and doctors are different.

    This is something that is taught in business school, it was when I went. There’s a whole business etiquette on how to address people in person in person and when writing emails, formal and informal communications. When you meet a teacher/professor you call them by the name on the class syllabus. If teacher tells you you can call him/her by their first name then do. Only call peers/equals by first name. Supervisors and managers will tell you what to call them, executive level you should be careful and respectful. Writing business communication has many rules and standards that Wordperfect and such can guide you in. Template letters/proposals/reports are available too. Doctors are Dr. ______, etc.

  6. When I was an undergrad, a long time ago, it was always Professor Smith or Dr. Jones.

    But at grad school, it was instantly on a first name basis.

  7. Are you talking about addressing your teachers as Dr. X or are you talking about addressing other students as Mr./Ms. Y? Because it’s normal to address teachers that way, but it would be very odd to address other students that way. You would come across as unfriendly and cold.

  8. It would be weird imo.

    At work, I call everyone by first name. All of my teachers in college too.

  9. It’s definitely not rude. If anything, it might be a bit formal.

    If you aren’t in the South, I’d refrain from referring to a woman as Ma’am under any circumstances. A lot of women take it as an insult directed at their age.

  10. Nah, a lot of that formality, in my experience, has gone by the wayside in a professional context. Exceptions to this rule may be law and medicine. My wife’s boss, who is a medical doctor, is Dr. Johnson. My boss, an insurance claims adjuster team manager, is Bob. My first professional job out of college, I called my boss by “Mr. Lastname” and he stopped me and said “don’t call me that”.

    The only time I use honorific + last name is when addressing a customer (which is totally unnecessary, but I like the formality that I believe it sets) and emails. 90% of my emails address a Mr. or Ms, or Mssr. or Mdms.

    Coworkers are all first name. Some older, female coworkers or managers are Miss Firstname. That’s a notable exception, and I wouldn’t recommend using that unless you get the rule.

  11. Currently in graduate school and refer to every professor in the department by their first name. At this point we collaborate on research and work together and it’s considered rude for them to want me to refer to them as doctor.

  12. It’s not rude, but it might be seen as overly formal in some situations. I wouldn’t call it rude, but it might be taken as you intentionally distancing yourself in certain situations. In other situations, the honorifics are expected.

  13. You’ll never be rude going too formal unless someone has explicitly said they don’t want that address.

    My boss right out of college was Dr./Prof. [last name]. He specifically asked us on staff to just call him [first name] so I did. All my law school professors were Prof. [last name]. My current colleagues and bosses are all first name basis.

    We would joke with my boss right of college by calling him Professor Doctor [last name], Doctor of Philosophy. He’d just roll his eyes and laugh. I call my wife Dr. [last name] when I want to annoy her.

    My dad’s a medical doctor and I occasionally call him Dr. [first name] among family. He’d never be annoyed by anyone calling him Dr. [last name] but he prefers just first name among friends and acquaintances.

  14. Man, I would literally rather be called by my first name or just my last name (no ms or Mrs or anything else). Just the last name, like on a jersey.

    It’s not really ever rude to address someone by a title and their last name, especially if it’s someone in a position of authority.

  15. Academics may be a little more rigid. But in the professional world a lot of places don’t have that level of formality. In my company one of the few that I’d referred to as “Mr” would be the owner. I’m very much on a first name basis with my direct manager.

  16. I call my professors whatever they introduce themselves as on the first day of class which more often than not is their first name (due to major and school). If they don’t or I’m emailing one I haven’t spoken to I always do professor/ Dr. Last name to be safe. So not weird but not always necessary

  17. I used to do this to my college friend. She has a PhD in accounting and I’d call her Dr. (surname). Her husband hated it.

  18. If you’re gonna go that route, you need to make sure you don’t use Ms./Mrs. (or Mr.) when you should be using Dr. Making that mistake is disrespectful and the professors I know hate it, especially the women, because it devalues their accomplishments.

  19. Idk about grad school but at work I just call everyone by their 1st name/what they go by. It’s common to do what you said to a teacher/professor tho

  20. No, it’s not rude.

    Different people have different standards.

    I’m in grad school right now and some faculty wish to be addressed properly by “Dr. + Last Name” or “Professor + Last Name” but then, especially with adjuncts or anyone whose main career is not teaching, just using first name is very common. 9/10 times, the professor will say at the beginning of class what they expect.

    If you don’t know what the person prefers, using an honorific is definitely the more respectful approach than just first name.

    However, if you’re talking about other students, scratch everything I said above and absolutely only use first name; y’all are peers.

  21. Actually I would say that doing it will get you a higher status not lower, especially in an increasingly informal world. It makes you stand out as potentially more respectful than the average Joe even if most of your peers dont do it. Besides everyone likes to hear their proper name with honorific even if they arent used to hearing it from most people. Nobody is going to get mad at that.

  22. Not rude at all. I come from a German/Lithuanian American family, and honorifics and last name are expected until someone gives explicit permission personally to you to call them something else. I am a nurse, and I still have difficulty calling docs or advanced practice nurses or professors or my kid’s teachers by their first name. But I am 42, so maybe this isn’t what the kids are doing these days.

  23. If you’re meant to be equals, then it’s rude. If you’re in a superior-inferior relationship, and they don’t tell you otherwise, it’s probably fine.

    At my company we’re under strict directions to use first names from everyone between the janitor to the ceo. Also any visiting ceos, doctors and politicians. I’d be expected to call the president Joe if it was on a company context

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