my boyfriend (of 1yr 2 months) went back to his hometown a couple days ago as it is the christmas break at uni. i just spent a couple days with him in his hometown but i went back to my city and now i feel worried about him meeting up with a female friend that i really dislike.
in our last conversation about her, he told me he would stop being friends with her because i was upset that she said that she hated my boyfriend because of me, to another of my boyfriend’s friends.
she is the only girl in my boyfriend’s friend group and has slept with almost everyone in the group except my boyfriend. a few months ago she even slept with a guy in the friend group who was in a relationship. this upset me a lot because i know she doesn’t respect the boundaries of relationships whereas my boyfriend had reassured me that she would never do something like that before this happened. the only other girlfriend in this friendship group also really dislikes her.
i am worried because even though my boyfriend said he would stop being friends with her he is a people pleaser.
after she slept with my boyfriend’s friend and i was upset, he continued to be friends with her. over the summer break when we were apart last, he even drove to her town to pick her up when they had group plans and asked me if it was okay if she could sleep over at his house because she wanted to be away from home. obviously i said i would consider this disrespectful but it was his choice and he was really stressed about saying no to her and kind of annoyed at me until he talked to his mum about it and she sided with me. only then he then told her no and she got angry at him.
she is still part of the friendship group. i don’t want my boyfriend to be ostracised but i also don’t really want him to be friendly with her after the last thing she said.
before our relationship he said she was like a sister to him.
TL;DR: my boyfriend said he would stop being friends with a girl i really don’t trust after she slept with one of his friends who was in a relationship she says she hates my boyfriend because of me. i am worried he will continue to be friends with her because he is a people pleaser and she is part of his friendship group. how do i talk to my boyfriend about this without seeming crazy?
4 comments
Do you trust your bf to turn her down if she makes a pass at him?
I think you’ve already communicated your feelings about his female friend. You need to trust your partner, especially if y’all have been together for over a year.
Worst case scenario your boyfriend cheats on you, if that’s the case then be happy the trash took itself out.
You’re only 20 years old, you have a lifetime ahead of you
He’s friends with a real life girl who has boobs and a butt and everything. I don’t know how you’re dealing with this affront to your dignity. The horror.
You have to trust him. If he betrays that trust, well, bullet dodged. It will hurt for a while but life goes on and you’re a 20yr old college girl, go out and have fun. You won’t get these carefree years back.