Hey, early 30s guy here whose finally moved on from retail into IT after graduating and getting some certs. Landed my self a lvl 2 help desk role as my first real IT gig and have been more stressed than I’ve ever been.
I bring that stress home and find my self angry and doubting my abilities and intelligence and it’s been affecting my relationship. I constantly stress about work and overthink situations that happened and how I handled them. Fellow Men, how do you deal with it?
15 comments
It’s very normal when you step into a new role. More so if it’s a new career. It will take time for you to feel comfortable with a new job and a new role. Always look for red flags in the work place. If after some time, you still feel like this, maybe try a job that’s a little more laid back.
The best advice for this I got from the show Scrubs. The head DR pointed at a step and said he leaves all his troubles there. Ive used it ever since it takes a while to train yourself to do this but I swear by it.
This sounds a bit like me and honestly my current (and soon to be prior) gig was a big wake up call to me as I went through a lot of the same – it was my first manager type roll and for a while I put a lot of it on myself and it was not healthy. The thing is – a lot of it is the system/spot I was placed into. I’ve come to understand how they operate/function and temper my own work and expectations accordingly. You can only be as successful as they are willing to let you. If a place is not set up for success, it is not going to be a good time.
For you and it being your first role in that specific field, you will get comfortable with time and experience. If possible, seek out someone who may be a good mentor to follow – it could help on both the work front as well as the work-life balance. And you got the job so it’s not your abilities and intelligence- sometimes it is just still learning and sometimes it is just the specific circumstances- just keep doing your thing and trying to learn and improve; you will get there.
I just don’t give a shit about my job. I do it to make money to live my life. I do a good job, but it’s all pointless and it’s easier to not bring it home if you don’t care.
I don’t get paid for it once I clock out. Took a couple of days off and coworker asked “Did you miss me?”
I said I forgot you exist.
Well once I’m off the clock I couldn’t care less about the job. But I don’t work in It and not offense to IT, but half the time it seems like y’all don’t know what the fuck y’all are doing anyway. Ive never seen people with less solutions to a problem than them. So chances are you’re within good company.
Don’t physically take your work home. Don’t answer emails, text or work on work stuff in any other way.
Use the transit time to depressurize. Don’t mentally bring home to work and vice versa.
If you need to, hit the gym after work. Take your frustrations out on the heavy bag or weights.
Take a shower or bath first when you get home.
Get a good night’s rest and eat breakfast so you’re prepared for the mental fight and emotional drain.
Communicate with your loved ones so they know what you’re going through and that it isn’t them.
When your loved ones are talking to you after work mentally count backwards from 10 before you answer.
If work doesn’t improve after the probationary period, start interviewing again.
Find a new job
It takes 18 months in a role to excel, so you have to give yourself time to get used to the challenges of this role.
First, find something to decompress – I used to listen to soundtracks or inspiring type music that doesn’t have lyrics to give my brain space to think through the day. Then, if I’m still having trouble letting go of tasks, it’s probably because I’m thinking through a next step, so go write them down for tomorrow and then try to move forward.
It’s tough , but try to shut the door on your day. I’d find myself talking to myself about shit while I cooked dinner for the family and hour later and that’s just not fun.
Thankfully I have a ton of PTO and it’s “use it or lose it” so we’re kind of forced to take time off. I used to not take all my time but now I’m not shy about it. A few times I’ve felt things getting to me and I’ll either take a Friday or Monday off for the long weekend. I like my job but it’s stressful and if that stress comes home then that is my cue to take a day to disconnect and reset myself.
Hang the hat up at the end of the day. Your personal problems don’t affect your work, your professional problems don’t affect your home life. If you can’t separate the two, get some help and take some time off because you won’t be doing yourself or anyone else favours.
Where I work has very loose deadlines and we get paid hourly so no overtime. Whatever isn’t done I’ll do tomorrow and after 5pm I’m done.
Its easy. Just not worry about work when I am not there. As long as it wasn’t blown up in a freak gasoline fight accident, it will be there when I get back.
I work in IT too, its hard since IT peeps generally get laptops to use.
for me, when i shut down the work laptop, it stays shut until the next work day. Same with work phones and so on.
Then I just veg out and listen to music.
Luckily for me, as truck driver once I’m off the driver’s seat and away from the truck, I don’t think about it until I begin my next shift. And on my days off, my work phone is off.