I learned that I have an anxious attachment style and I cling onto the person that I talk to and sorta put them on a pedestal. I’m in a situationship with this guy and it sucks because he has a lot on his plate, he lost his mother 2 months ago and now he might need to move to a new place and such. From early on he’s told me he doesn’t want a relationship because he has a lot going on but he does tell me he likes me, and I see that he does like me but it sucks because I want him to commit to me but j know that I can’t force anyone to do anything. I panic when he doesnt reply to me, and I have a bad habit of over thinking which leads me to create scenarios in my head and it’s not good for me, nor for him. I feel like I’m addicted to his validation, I catch myself basing my worth off this stupid situationship and I want to stop but I do it subconsciously. I don’t have much going for me and honestly I’m not the most secure person on the planet right now because I’m still figuring out who I am. I struggle with being vulnerable, I look at other couples and I see how vulnerable they are with their partners. They share their thoughts, ideas and I’m like, wowww. How do y’all do that? I’m scared to let someone into my head, that scares me. Being open with someone scares me yet, I crave to be intimate with someone. How do I fix this?
With my situationship I find that I can’t share my thoughts, ideas, creations because for one: I struggle being vulnerable and 2: I feel like I’m not the most interesting person.
I struggle with anxiety so when I have feelings for somebody they are constantly on my mind and I base my worth around them. I want to stop this. I want to become a better version of myself. Any advice helps <3