I (f,15) often hear my parents having sex at night. They are not loud but it is noticeable. They wait until its late in the night, probably when they think I’m asleep. Do I ignore it? Or would it be best to tell them? I don’t want them to feel bad about it.

27 comments

  1. Subtly not Subtle… Hey Mom do you think we could add insulation to my bedroom walls? Or maybe yours?

  2. If you want to avoid the conversation, I’d say start turning on music just loud enough that they can hear it everytime they start up. Helps you drown out the sound, tells your *roommates* they are disturbing your peace.

  4. Ignore it honestly. A healthy sex life is a good thing and bringing attention to it if theyre not being loud is just gonna be awkward.

  5. Don’t say anything. They are grown people, and are allowed to have sex in their own house. And it sounds like, they are already trying to be considerate, by not being loud and waiting until late night. I don’t know, what else you would want them to do/what you’re expecting to get out of it, by telling them. Let them be

  6. Just be grateful you actually have parents that still have sex. Proves they have a strong and healthy relationship.

  7. If it bothers you physically (trouble sleeping for example) or mentally, talk with them. If not, then don’t mention it – but in that case be prepared to never bring it up because that would make them feel horrible.

  8. I would say perhaps ask for some of those headband ear phones or something you can wear to bed so you can drown it out with music. It may not be optimal but at least it would save you the awkward conversation.

  9. I think it depends on your relationship with your parents. For some people, it would be perfectly acceptable to make a joke about it, for others it would be horrifying if anything was said. Nonetheless, be happy your parents love each other and continue to have a healthy sex life.

  10. “I really want these nice Bose noise-cancelling headphones because I keep getting woken up by weird animal noises. I assume they’re coming from outside but sometimes I swear they’re in the house….”

  11. Please, please, please , just put your earbuds in and listen to music or watch a show. A married couple having a healthy sexual relationship is so important. Don’t add stress of them being worried of you hearing it. Let them enjoy the pleasure they give another.

  14. Once they start going at it, it is time to go make yourself a late night snack . Just be noisy about it, close cabinets with excessive noise, make sure the microwave beeps. For an added extra impact, make sure to burn the microwave popcorn.

    If they ask, just say something woke you up, and you were hungry.

  15. The amount of comments telling OP not to say anything..you obviously never had to go through the experience of hearing your parents have sex.

    That must’ve been nice.

  16. Don’t say anything, but every morning afterwards, high five your dad and say “nice” amd walk away. If asked why, just say “you know why” and keep walking

  17. Noise cancelling headphones for the win. Tell them you don’t care what they do, but you’d rather listen to music or the TV.

  18. Yeah, sex is a healthy part of life, but pretty sure I could live without hearing “sex noises” from my parents. I sleep with noise machines to help me sleep. When I had roommates that would party all the time/be social I had headphones and would play 10-hour YouTube sleep videos or whale/dolphin noises. Those would be my first steps before I would broach the uncomfortable conversations.

  19. i remember telling my parents i could hear them and they just laughed at me LOL 😭 i felt so embarrassed because i thought my mom was in pain, but i realised what was going on and nearly cried honestly. i ended up texting them something like “good to know you guys still enjoy each others company”, yknow something light hearted to let them know that i heard jt, thinking maybe they’d be more careful in the future.

    they weren’t :’)

    headphones are your best bet if you think they won’t respond well to a respectful confrontation (not confrontation … but you know what i mean. a hint that they’re not as sneaky as they think haha)

  20. Tell them. Or tell one of them. They likely don’t want you to be uncomfortable.

    Yes, it’s great that your parents still have sex… no, it’s not great that you hear them.

    Source: had this conversation with our kid. And I felt terrible but we try really hard now to do better and make sure there is a tv, radio, kids aren’t home, or at least not in their rooms with no other noise, etc. it’s great that we love each other, but the kids shouldn’t hear it!

  22. “Hi mom and dad. I know you’re trying to be respectful and think I can’t hear you, but I can. Are you okay with that, and me ignoring it, or would we like to explore some options so I don’t have to hear it? I am not trying to shame you, I love that you have a healthy sex life. I just don’t want you thinking I can’t hear you.”

  23. Either ignore it or milk it for a nice pair of Sennheiser earbuds/headphones (the Momentum 3’s are excellent).

  24. Oh hold that secret. Later in life you can drop it right on your mother’s head when you need a win. I’m 60 and that’s the way I used it. And a beautiful jaw-dropping win it was. She didn’t speak to me for several month. Lol

  26. when this became a problem with my dad and his girlfriend (i was around your age) i wrote a (cordial) note and taped it to their door.

    it never got brought up in conversation, and they did tone it down.

  27. I would want my kids to come clean and tell me so I can fix the situation. Nothing to be embarrassed about. When they get older they will understand once they have significant others.

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