This guy (35m) and I (34f) have been seeing each other for a while and yesterday he was on his phone a little too much. I don’t think he even noticed me staring at him at one point because he was busy texting!
However, he did let me see his phone while we were searching for movie times, left his phone up unlocked on the table when he went to the bathroom, and let me hold it and look at Yelp for a restaurant. (I did not snoop!)
But anyway, whenever I saw him in his phone I felt like he wasn’t all there and I felt disrespected. Like, why was I even there? Should I tell him about this? Or leave it because we’re not together and not exclusively seeing each other?
5 comments
If you don’t communicate your wants/needs in your relationship, that relationship is doomed to fail.
Yes. Or else he wouldn’t know about it
>Should I tell him that I felt disrespected because he was on his phone a lot when we were hanging out?
YES, YOU SHOULD!
A girl I once went on a date with did this, and it pissed me off to high heaven!
It is the very height of being disrespectful. It says that whatever else is going on is more interesting than being with you. And… it went on all evening…
My thinking is: when you are with a person (physically), your mind and attention should be with that person as well, not on your phone; you can do that anytime, when that person isn’t around.
So by him being on his phone, he is basically wasting the opportunity to be with you, making being with you unimportant.
And *that’s* disrespectful.
You should definitely tell him.
Yes it’s super disrespectful. It sends the message that you have to compete with whatever is on his phone for his attention. No matter what your relationship status is, you deserve to feel valued. If he wants to date his phone instead of you, you shouldn’t have to put up with it
Is he a Doctor or is there some acceptable reason he needs to be on his phone so much?
Personally I would not be OK with a guy checking his phone at all (unless there’s a legit reason) when he’s with me. I’m not even OK with friends doing this. I’ve cut off friendships due to exactly this disrespect/rudeness.
If you feel this isn’t such an unforgivable thing, sure, tell him about it… But IMO, I just not see this guy anymore. This is simple manners/common courtesy I expect people to know.