what is an acceptable way of breaking up for you?

19 comments

1. Just say it. I won’t hate you for it

2. Telling me the things I’m able to change and work on. Give me an exit interview

3. The honest truth.

4. Sitting me down “I’m breaking up because” and I’ll accept it without much of a fuss if the decision has been made, then go away and process

5. There isn’t an “acceptable” way, there are only unacceptable ways

6. So long as they’re civil about it

7. Face to face.
   Doing it via text etc is douchey and cowardly

   Be civil

8. Do it now and do it to my face … no tomorrow, not trying to be nice and for years trying to work out as friends and leaving me in the dark about everything … nope, if you don’t like me, break it off

9. In person or over the phone/video chat. Reason I say over the phone/video chat is for people in long distance relationships. My first ever girlfriend was long distance and we broke up in September. We had the break up talk over the phone. If it’s not long distance though, in person is the way you should do it. Be nice while you’re doing it but don’t back down from it.

10. – In person.
    – Firm.
    – Don’t cry – every time I’ve been broken up with SHE started crying. Idk what to do with that, it’s her decision why is she crying?
    – No, we aren’t going to be friends, at least not right away.

11. In person, being honest about it.

12. Having been on the receiving end of a devastating breakup where the other party tried to make every reasonable step *during the breakup* to do the right thing, I’d like to call some attention to the time before you break up with someone.

    If you’re going to be fair, then *the second you start to think it’s not working* you need to tell them how you’re feeling, why you’re feeling that way, and offer them an opportunity to do something about it. You need to have the “we need to talk” talk. There are certainly situations where there is nothing they can do to salvage the relationship, but those are the exception and not the norm.

    If you’re not feeling it, you need to tell them as soon as you reasonably can. Once a relationship becomes “serious,” both parties need to be making a good faith effort to keep the relationship healthy.

13. It’s not me, it’s you.

14. just do it and fuck off i don’t understand the need for all this closure. It didn’t work out you go find someone else there you go closure.

15. Send the TCP FIN packet.

16. Face to face and explain why.

17. I have been on both sides (dumper, dumped) and this is what I recommend:

    1) Don’t be overly afraid of hurting the person. Rejection hurts. There is no way to avoid hurting the person. But, by being honest and straight-forward, you can minimize the hurt.

    2) Don’t Ghost the person. You shared love together and they deserve more. In-person is preferable for closure on both sides. If email or text is the only alternative, it is still better than disappearing and leaving the person confused and consumed with self-doubts.

    3) Don’t ask for a ‘break’ if you want to break up. Space is just that. It doesn’t bring people closer. It also is confusing when both parties don’t agree on what sex/affection with others is allowed during this time. A mutually decided break can be beneficial when it’s agreed upon, one-sided breaks are rarely effective.

    4) Don’t continue being affectionate and making plans if you are already thinking of breaking up. It will make the person who is dumped endlessly loop through thoughts of “but we were happy and everything was fine one week ago…”

    5) Don’t flirt with or fuck anyone else. Get completely out of one relationship before starting another.

    6) Let the person know why you feel you need to break up with them. In a non-emotional way, explain what makes you incompatible. If there is anything you are grateful to them for, let them know. But, make it clear this is permanent and the relationship is over. Don’t be drawn into blame or negotiating a reconciliation if your mind is made up.

    7) Do not suggest staying friends. Do not pursue contact with them if you have made your mind up that romance is not in your future together. Allow them to heal. Do not stalk their social media so they wonder if you still have interest.

    8) If the person is pursuing you (angry texts, longing emails, drunken messages) kindly remind them that this is permanent and block them. No contact is a gift you have the power to offer.

    9) If you have feelings of missing the person you broke up with or even aren’t sure if you want to break up, talk to a trusted friend or seek guidance in forums. Don’t string the person along, it isn’t fair to them.

    10) If you want to reconnect romantically and feel you made a mistake: analyze where you went wrong, why the relationship failed, if you need to work on yourself first…and be fully informed that it is a wise decision not just based on sentiment.

    11) Don’t sleep with the person again, after you have broken up.

    12) Be kind to yourself. Dating is to determine if you are compatible / incompatible. Breaking up is not a crime. You deserve to mourn the loss also. If you break up maturely, you don’t have anything to regret in ending things.

18. In person, upfront, honest, feedback on what went wrong with the relationship.

    I know some men aren’t mature enough for the feedback part but I personally would like to know what I could’ve done better in the relationship.

19. One of my ex’s broke up with me by just being straight up about it and I appreciated it later on (obviously at the time it was like getting kicked in the balls) compared to my other ex’s that just acted like bitches over text, cheated, or had their friends do it for them.