We met running and drinking. I do 2/2 of those things. She dose 0/2 of those things. We host bible study and she for the first time ever opens up to the group and starts crying and saying I drink too much and she is afraid for my health. I don’t drink for five days but I am am not nice to my wife who I believe betrayed me and stabbed me in the back. Now I’m back at drinking when I want (not a crazy naked person with a pitchfork…) but I don’t know where to go from here.
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I feel betrayed. I feel back stabbed. I feel I can never trust my wife again.
2 comments
That seems like a pretty intense reaction to her genuinely expressing concern for your health.
And why aren’t you nice to her?
You screwed up for clearly not picking up on any of her signals that she was bothered by your drinking and talking about it. She screwed up by taking advantage of what she probably felt was a safe space and violated your trust by sharing her personal problem that also involved you with a group.
You both messed up, apologize to each other and start dealing with the issue.
I would guess you’ve also got some hidden contempt for your wife because your “0/2 of those things” remark was clearly meant to indicate you don’t approve of her not running anymore or taking care of her physical health. Contempt is the cancer that slowly kills the marriages it infects.