So basically I had alot of confidence over summer when talking to others. I wasn’t always confident as I actually was a shut-in 2 years prior but I push past it to develop social skills. Over the summer I dealt with anxiety and came off awkward to others but I was getting better. I even went on 4 dates which was a record at the time. I was at the point of leading conversations and walking up to strangers.
Well I started med school and my confidence dropped significantly. This is due to people in my med school being more cliquish than normal. I tried my summer strategy and I got labeled awkward. People went out of the way to avoid me. It was even worst when I went to the bars.
So I decided to stick to myself. And I got used to being alone. But the problem is now I struggle talking to others. My instinct is to avoid people and I get more anxiety than usual. I’m really frustrated because I tackled this hard over the summer. And now I’m back to square one.
What’s worse is that I’m finding it hard to motivate myself to try again. This is because if I’m truly awkward, my med school colleagues aren’t going get me a chance to practice. Im scared i am going to grow out of it just to go back to being awkward in med school. But I want to get that sense of power I had over the summer. I remember feeling like the world was my oyster.
What should I do?
3 comments
Kiddo! YOU ARE IN MED SCHOOL!
Just achieving that, all by itself, is an AAAAMAYZING FEAT!
Second: It is a HIGHLY stressful environment. You are now in a sub culture that seems normal to you, but is actually fairly distorted in terms of how much is expected of you vs. “regular” (or “unleaded”?) college students. Even if it’s not seeming overtly competitive to you-!although gonna bet it does- it IS. Built into any subculture over superachievement, is the shadow of shame. Which might very well feel destabilizing, in terms of faith in yourself.
Simply do the opposite of whatever is making you feel inadequate. If you feel inadequate socially, dress up in whatever glad rags make you feel joyful, and go somewhere and talk to ONE person. Start small. Even if it’s only for half an hour. Just prove to the fear that it’s a lying sack of sh*t, and then go home.
YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY. There has never been, and never will be again, ANY SENTIENT BEING who offers the world your particular brand of seeing, feeling, experiencing and thinking. The world needs your take on things.
Go out there and slay em with your homegrown fabulosity.
You got this.
Best wishes,
Eri
It sounds like you have been through a difficult transition and are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. It’s understandable to feel anxious and uncertain in a new environment, especially one that is as demanding as medical school. However, it’s important to remember that you have already proven to yourself that you can build confidence and social skills, and you have the ability to do so again. One thing you can try is finding a supportive group or community where you feel more comfortable practicing your social skills. This could be a club or group related to your interests, or even just a group of friends who are more understanding and accepting. You could also consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor, who can help you work through your anxiety and build your confidence. It’s also important to be kind and patient with yourself as you work on building your confidence and social skills. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay to feel awkward at times. The more you practice, the more comfortable and confident you will become. Don’t be afraid to seek help or support when you need it, and keep reminding yourself of your past successes and the progress you have made.
You could drive to another town farther away where you don’t know anyone and practice your social skills and getting out of your comfort zone there. It would allow you to undergo your own exposure therapy and practice social skills without significant consequences (if the ppl think you are awkward it doesn’t matter, you aren’t going to see them again).