I’m 31 and have never been to a club. I’m insecure and having FOMO vibes every night. I couldn’t go during my early 20s due to social anxiety and hatred for dancing. Closest I came was salsa night at a bar when I was 21; went because of a girl I tried to ask out.
Yes, I’m going by myself as I have no choice. Reason for going? Settle my insecurity and to meet women if possible.
30 comments
Unless you genuinely enjoy the environment and music, you aren’t going to have much fun alone and sober.
step 1: do not go in with the intention of leaving with a woman
step 2: get acquainted with many different circles at the club so you can get familiar with several faces so when you see them throughout the night, there’s some level of comfort. dance with people who look like they’re having fun, go talk to some wallflowers. just go stand at the bar like you’re going to buy a drink and just spark convos with people who are actually trying to get a drink
step 3: read body language, if people seem uninterested or closed off to only their circle, just wish them a good night and keep moving along. Don’t spend too much time thinking/analyzing why they didn’t match your energy.
It’s not for everyone, don’t force it if it ain’t for you. Just head to the bar, nightclubs are more complex than that and most people just wanna dance, do drugs or both lol
Try to go to a bar that has music after a certain time, it will allow you to feel comfortable just hanging out and having a drink. This could help ease the anxiety and maybe you can start a conversation with a girl. Nightclubs can be too much and hard to make a connection, also could look weird going alone. Good luck bud
I went to a bunch of nightclubs from 17-24. 90% of the time I was bored out of my skull. It’s so loud you can’t hear anyone else, drinks are overpriced, and most of the women came to dance with their friends. Occasionally there was a wild night, but that was only 5% of the time when my group of dudes merged with a group of girls. You should go, it will be terrible. Don’t worry, chances are no one will want to talk to you. Just people watch.
If you hate dancing you’re not going to like nightclubs. You’re not missing out on anything. Sometimes I see people doing extreme sports and I think it looks really cool but I know if I tried it I’d probably have a heart attack.
Alcohol. And going with friends is much more fun. I’d never go to a club alone.
You need to take a couple of drinks. Don’t get drunk, like maybe one or two shots and you’ll ignore the feeling that you don’t actually like this place and put your anxiety at ease.
Just try it once. I only did it one time, I’m not interested in it or alcohol to have fun so I didn’t do it again.
Personally, I always hated clubs; music was way too loud to even talk to friends. The only exception was a club that was in Providence Rhode Island called Club Hell and had fetish night every Wednesday (I think), it was great people watching.
Clubs are for people who like clubs and dancing. If that’s not you, you’re not going to have a good time. If you went with a bunch of your bros, you might have a good time because going somewhere with your bros is often a good time no matter what you are doing. But going by yourself? The chances that you will have a good time are zero and the chances you will meet women are negative.
I’m not club guy. I used to go only go because a girl asked me to go. I’ve got serious gf and we’ll go once and while. It’s always been a spectical though as I’m 6’7 and now my gf 5’11 and usually wearing 4″ heels everyone in the club is looking.
I have been to a couple and never cared for them. I prefer a slower vibe – maybe a sports bar, cocktail lounge, etc., where you can actually talk to people.
I recommend going all the way in to the experience – mdma etc to boot
I’d say fuck the club. I never got the hype anyways, went when I was younger but after a while it was just boring. Now you’d have to pay me to go. I don’t envy seeing peoples stories in clubs, because most times their on their phones filming, trying to look like they’re having a blast, when in actuality they’re bored. Imo, I never found clubs fun unless I was very drunk/on drugs, and that’s not a way to live.
Go to a bar if you wanna socialise, more intimate vibe, music isn’t blaring so you can actually speak, you’d have much more success meeting people. Even a pub, if that’s your thing.
You don’t. 😂 especially if it’s not inherently appealing to you. But this is coming from someone that always hated clubs. A chill lounge or wine bar type of setting is much more my vibe.
Stop overthinking it and just go. There will be overpriced drinks, some people having fun and dancing, but most just standing around trying to look cool. The male-female ratio will be something like 70-30 and if you are not some really good looking guy, meeting women will be difficult, especially because it is most likely too loud to have a conversation anyway.
Just go alone, try to dance, have a drink, nobody knows you there, and then decide if you want to go again.
Make a plan for next weekend, and just go.
It’s expensive, a lot of bravado and peacocking, people drink way too much way to fast and get sloppy.
The music is good! It’s fun ti dance but honestly you’re not missing anything life altering.
Do you live in a big city? If we are talking proper nightclub, I would very strongly recommend going by yourself. If there are nightclubs I am sure that there are bars with dancing that are in my opinion a much much better place to achieve what you say you’re looking for.
You won’t meet women at a club. Almost nobody does that. Everybody thinks it, tries it, but almost everybody goes home alone every single time without so much as a phone number. My point here is that you shouldn’t pressure yourself.
Ideally, go with some friends that already enjoy dancing. Let your focus be on having fun, having a few drinks, vibing the music, dancing if you feel like it, and not dancing if you don’t. A lot of people go to dance clubs and never dance. They just sit, listen, yell at their friends.
I think you’re on the right track with Salsa if you think you might enjoy that kind of dancing. Swing too. Special kinds of dancing other than ‘pop music flailing’ will draw a crowd of people that feel like they know each other. They’re ready to dance, they want to make new friends, they’re going to do the same coordinated dances together. There’s so much more ‘togetherness’ going on. That’s a great jam where you WILL meet people.
You really aren’t missing much. Guys don’t hook up as much as you think.
The music is too loud and sometimes shitty , the floor is sticky, everyone is wasted out of their mind and the little boys egotesticles are filled to the brim and they would fight you just for “looking at you funny”. At our age, you definitely aren’t going to like it. I used to do my fair share of clubbing in my early 20’s but I can’t stand it anymore, especially if you’re going In sober.
You’ll have a much better time and a bar and you’ll actually find girls worth investing in
Go to an EDM club and take a small amount of ecstasy
Make friends elsewhere first. Go with them. Get some drinks. Talk and dance.
1 You don’t have to dance.
2 You do need to enjoy the music at the very least, otherwise, why are you there? You being on edge will be noticeable to those around you because you don’t like being where you are.
3 If you like the music, just go to enjoy the music and environment of the club. Heck. Chicago has a place called Disco and the environment of it alone is its own awesome experience.
bro you just said it yourself.
No one goes to nightclubs for the exorbitantly overpriced drinks, or for the garbage music that is going to blow your ears up. It’s to meet women. Although it’s a pretty shitty place to meet women, honestly. Music festivals, concerts, and bars where people you know, talk to each other, are far better places.
There’s always that weird guy alone at the club, just staying at the bar and looking at people. Don’t be that guy
I enjoy nightclubs by avoiding them.
Going with the right people and not coming in with the intention of meeting women! Also depends on what kind of music will be playing.
Really depends on the type of club you’re going to. If I go by myself it’s usually a cocktail bar or club that has a dj I like. But why don’t you take some dancing classes? Maybe a place near you teaches something like swing or breakdancing. It’s a good way to meet people too who might like to go dancing.
Maybe go to an area with multiple bars or clubs so it you aren’t feeling the vibe in one place you can go somewhere else.
i have worked in the industry for about 5 years, go to a strip club and chat with the girls, they will be friendly and will help overcome some of that anxiety of walking up to women in public places. I’ve told a ton of guys this throughout the years and they always found that it helped their confidence and made it easier to talk to women outside the strip club. Just dont get hooked and blow your rent on them, they’re working and are there to make money.
Nightclubs are noisy and expensive. This is also flu/covid/cold season and being cramped into a packed bar will greatly increase your chances of getting sick.
In regard to the noise, a lot of these clubs play music so loud that you are risking permanent hearing damage, just like attending concerts.
If you do meet a girl who wants to smash after meeting in a club, be very careful. Chances are she does it often. Wrap that shit up and have an escape plan, you don’t want to be at her place when her husband/BF/ex lover fresh out of prison shows up. STIs are no joke!