I’m a 19 year old straight male.
I’ve never found myself attracted to anyone of any gender no matter how hard i try. I’d consider myself a pretty attractive man and have been approached before. I’m just so curious is there something wrong with me? I’m going on a date with this girl who I find cool but I really cant figure out why I’m not attracted to her. I’ve felt attraction before, or at least years ago, so I know how it feels.
18 comments
Might I suggest watching Jaiden Animation’s “Being Not Straight” on YouTube?
In spite of the title, it is a pretty nice discussion of Asexuality – aka, not being attracted to any sex. You probably could relate to it, and it might express your frustrations in a relatable way.
…Also it’s funny.
Sexuality is essentially the tendency of your animalistic impulse to reproduce to certain “stimuli”. Might be masculine, feminine, or something else altogether. Don’t be caught up with labels, but do understand that as long as you and your partner/date are on the same page, all is okay. And not being attracted to anyone is okay too and not a problem. Don’t blame yourself for not having impulses forced on you👌
Cliché but I will quote Steve Jobs on that: like all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you’ll find it.
Don’t worry. You’re still very young, not everyone meets someone they find attractive at the same age. I too had trouble finding other people attractive for a long time but then it popped, don’t rush it, there’s nothing wrong with you, you’ve just not found the kind you like yet.
Aromantic, Asexual, anything in between. There’s things like demisexual/demiromantic where you’re only attracted to people you make close emotional connections with first, and greysexual/greyromantic where you might be attracted to folks once or twice in your life but not really enough to *not* be ace or aro.
They’re worth looking up, and might help to better understand yourself. Or don’t. Not everyone feels the need to label themselves, and that’s valid too. Just don’t force yourself to feel something if it’s not there, and don’t let others force you out of your comfort levels or boundaries.
I have a story to share: I thought that I’m not attracted to girls, but one night I had a sleepover with a group of friends, and I happened to sleep next to a girl. I got super aroused over the course of the night. I concluded that it just takes more for me to feel attraction.
Hey bro
I’m a man, you might be attracted to me
Let’s start a conversation?
You sound ace
I think it’s great. It means maybe you’ve managed to not sexually objectify women, and want to connect with them as a person to get turned on. Very healthy if so!
I’m only attracted to 2d so…yeah ace all the way lol
There are several reasons why you might be feeling like that:
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Maybe you simply don’t have enough sleep; that messes with your emotions and brain chemistry. If you’re not sure, try getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
Dehydration also messes with your body in all kinds of ways, and in the first world it’s very common: if you’re not sure you’re getting enough, drink three liters (or quarts) of water a day.
It might be that you and her simply have no chemistry; some people need some very specific chemistry to feel attraction. If this girl is cool, than. suggest you spend time with her, get to know her well; that actually happened to me: I was not physically attracted to the woman who is now my wife until I came to know her pretty well.
Do you use porn? If so, how often? Overuse of porn can affect you very strongly, especially regard sexual interactions and sexual feelings in the real world. If you do use porn, try not using it for a while(3 days-1 week) and see if there’s any change.
It may be that you simply are not attracted to this particular person: maybe you’re not attracted to most people; maybe there’s someone in particular who’s a good match that you need to find.
Maybe you have some emotion issues: try talking to a therapist about it.
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Whatever it is, you do have power over it. You have over over your life: you can change it, you can overcome it. Godspeed!
19F , never felt attraction before so I don’t even know what I should be feeling.
I think i’m the same way! I like the vague idea of a women and being in a relationship with a woman, but i’m not attracted to any anyone.
However i think i differ slightly with what you’ve said about feeling attraction years ago. I personally can’t recall ever having felt it and cannot fathom what it’s like.
I don’t have any answers, but it’s nice to see an experience similar to mine 🙂 makes my own confusion feel more normal. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.
Seriously, being Asexual (not attracted to anyone sexually) is ok. You need to go look at some LGBTQIA+ (A= asexual) threads and communities for this question. You can have a very happy and fulfilling life, including relationships but you need the right advice and potentially counselling to help navigate how you feel, what you want, and how to form relationships should you want to whilst being asexual.
Go looking in the wrong places and you will get creeps looking to take advantage of your confusion, telling you things opposite to how you feel.
Are you a virgin?
There are a lot of talk about stuff like that and many sudden sexual orientations that are suddenly surrounding that.
May just be you needing more than just shallow connection to fall for people. Might be a psychological issue.
Please don’t just follow random yt vids like Jaiden Animations vid for example. Might be very destructive
Sounds like you have low libido. There’s nothing wrong with you. Do you want to fix it though? or are you content with the way you are? If the latter, don’t worry about it.
It could be where you live… there are also no attractive females where I live.. small bog ass rural town.. go to Sweden or Russia dude…seriously, youll understand what i mean when you get there.
Ever heard of sapiosexual?
Sounds fancy, just means you’re attracted to intelligence/ the mind.
Perfectly healthy, everyone should be interested in the person, not just the body, of a partner!
Maybe you lean more towards emotional/ psychological attraction than to purely physical…
Whatever is the case. No point in worrying. You are what you are, my man. You always will be, and that’s perfectly OK.
I saw you replied to a different comment saying that you still lust for the opposite gender. So i would say you aren’t asexual (lacking sexual attraction) but you might be aromantic (lacking romantic attraction). But anyway, I don’t know whether you’re looking for titles or not, the point is that you are not alone and there is definitely nothing wrong with you.