So to give you context I am a Hispanic man who just moved to US one year ago. I am a good looking guy since I hit the gym and take care of my appearance. I have noticed how some girls look at me. However, there are some things that make me feel insecure about myself:
1- Accent: since my mother language is Spanish I have a strong accent. Even though I worked in a call center for 2.5 years talking to an average of 50 Americans per day (when I was in my country of origin) I feel a bit insecure here and I’ve noticed that that insecurity makes me mess up with my accent and speaking skills.
2- Height: I am a short guy I am 5’5’’ft tall and most of the girls are about the same height or taller. Of course there are shorter girls but i still feel a little bit insecure about it.
3- Being from a foreign country: so, I feel that most of the girls would feel awkward dating a guy born in another country; specially a Hispanic one.
Despite all those insecurities I always try to look secure even in the way I walk. However, I want to overcome those insecurities and be able to date a girl. Advices?
3 comments
Oh none of this shit matters as long as you have money lol!
Don’t try to hide your accent, your height or where you come from. Everyone has insecurities, and the really secure thing to do is actually to accept that they are the reality and show them to the world. Meet yourself where you’re at.
Asking people out, especially when you’re feeling a bit insecure, is fucking terrifying. It’s never going to feel nice beforehand, you need to do it anyway. You’ll notice it’s not the end of the world if you get rejected. It will still make you feel alive and brave afterwards, which is pretty nice. If they have problems with your accent, your height or your place of birth, that doesn’t really change who you are.
More specifically, you could tell girls that you think they’re cute/great, that you’d love to get to know them some more and ask them if they want to grab a beer/coffee with a specific time and place. What you plan to say is the only thing you can control – you might get too nervous and have it come out a little differently. That is okay! You might get rejected! That’s okay, too. Likely, the worst possible outcome is that she’ll be flattered and you come off as brave. Just the act of asking someone out is actually a 10/10 performance from you.
What the commentator meant was, none of that matters as long as you are kind. To answer your question: you ask a woman out by asking her. Tell her you think she’s beautiful and would like to take her for a coffee/drink/whatever else you enjoy. If she says no, her loss.
Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do about your insecurities beside accepting them. We all have insecurities. Can’t do much about your height, and unfortunately, some women will hold that against you. But again, have the confidence to ask women out by being honest and upfront.
Also, try not feeling insecure about your accent and being from a foreign country. American girls LOVE foreign men. So if anything, you’ve got that going for you.