I am 23F recently talking to an M in his early thirties. I recently noticed that he only talks to me when I text first, responds within seconds when I do, and acts as if nothing happened, but now he stops talking to me for the rest of the day after exchanging a couple of good morning texts. He has told me he’s been busy lately and doesn’t like to be on his phone a lot, but still, the lack of communication is something that doesn’t sit right with me. He’ll only text first; when I don’t text him for a day out of annoyance. He also would like to Facetime me and call me a lot, but now that barely happens.

Is this normal with older men, or am I just stupid and can’t see that he is not interested and likes how I text first?

***PS: pls stop roasting me for the use of “older men” in my question…thanks***

29 comments

  3. Hi there.

    What you just described sounds like something I would sometimes do. I am in my mid-30s. I can’t speak on behalf of all men in their 30s, but I personally do not like texting much, and I usually make that clear to my partners.

    You might be overthinking this, but it is best you clear that up with him.

  5. 30M here. I’d only text to make plans, maybe a “how’s your day going?” Text, but that’s about it. Keep the good stuff for when you guys meet up

  6. I mean I can definitely see why if he’s in med school, just keep in mind he will be pretty busy sometimes if you still want to continue the relationship

  7. Yes, because they’re holding their pipe in one hand and putting the slippers on with the other one. Once the slippers are on, they need the free hand for their cane.

  8. Some men use texting only for setting up dates or making simple plans in order to have conversations in person instead of over the phone.

  10. As an elderly man of 32 years I am a very decent texter for the most part but obviously when you work a lot, you can’t always reply for a while.

  11. One thing about people is, u can never generalize. I am also an old man(30 years old) but I am a very active texter, not just to women I am interested in but also to the women I am friends with

  12. Well as an older woman, at the ripe age of 31, personally I don’t need to text someone all throughout the day. I could really maintain one phone call a day/or a couple times a week and be fine.

  13. Maybe I’m not typical but I’m 48 and love texting. I’m dating someone younger than me but still 40’s and she likes to text too. I like texts going back and forth throughout the day. Maybe no more than every few hours but I like the connection.

  14. No we just hate it when we text back and then go to put it on out pocket and it dings again..so then we say fuck it I’ll read it later lol

  15. No he’s just not a big time texter.
    I personally hate talking by phone I prefer face to face interactions

  16. Yeah I’m in my 30s and I’m useless at texting these days. Great on dates though lol

  17. Im 25 and I’m like this, and even in my free time, why would I waste so much time chatting? Just plan things out and meet in real life. There is nothing so important to talk the whole goddamn day about.

  18. I’m 35 and I don’t generally like having long conversations over text. It’s just a waste of time and I’m usually busy with other stuff. I especially don’t like doing that with someone I haven’t met yet, because a text conversation is a lot of work and I’m not emotionally invested enough to do the work at that point.

  19. 1. Yes, the older you get the less you’re interested in Texting.

    2. If a guy is interested, he’ll likely still text. On some level.

    Realistically, it sounds like he’s losing interest. But it’s really impossibly for me, you, or anyone here to tell for sure.

    You’ll just have to play it out and find out for yourself.

  20. I genuinely think we as a people can’t have the same texting habits…they vary for everyone, different age group, different gender, different career…

    I for one, in my mid 20s, I’m an intermittently heavy texter…might take a whole week without responding,but when j do the floodgates open…I text like it’s a dissertation..

    Now I’ve had friends and loved ones who hate this, and I’ve had some get accustomed to it.

    Also really depends who it is…if it’s someone with whom you see a future together with, perhaps urgency might be needed..

    But like you said he’s in the medical sector.. honestly I do get it …look for a way of bringing it up gently..but dont coerce him into it…. Most important rule of conversation, let it ebb and flow organically.

  21. 30/M there’s better things to do than hover over your phone all day. I’m not always busy with something important, but it’s not healthy to always be waiting for a text.

  22. I’m 40 and I don’t seem to have any difficulty and I’m pretty introverted. There are common times when I’m not able to send out a text; namely at work because there is bad reception at the gates of hell. lol.

    If you’re concerned he’s losing interest, I say share that concern with him. He may be totally unaware that he’s giving off that vibe. It could simply be the more he comes to know you he has grown comfortable, not seeing the need for constant communication.

  23. When you ask about older men does that mean you have found this to be case in addition to this current guy you are texting with? Why isn’t it the case with just him?

  24. Men in his range are less desperate for suitors, so consider that. However, he could just not want to have long convos over text.

  25. When a guy likes you, you know. When a guy doesn’t like you, you’re confused. (A saying I heard that rings true). That being said, if he’s in med school he may be legitimately busy.

  27. I’m 32 and I don’t like when people try to start long conversations through text. When I was younger and had more time on my hands I did it a lot, but as I got older, I straight up just call people.

    Also, if he enjoys working on cars that would make sense. I pulled a motor and while doing that project if no one had a point in texting me, I ignored them or had my phone inside and not on me for hours because I don’t want grease and oil all over my phone.

  28. Not texting you all day doesn’t mean he’s not interested. Don’t overthink it! Some men prioritize their work or hobbies and I think that’s attractive. If you do the same (prioritize your work or school etc) and hardly notice if he hasn’t texted you, he will take notice and that will be attractive to him. Texting/calling all the time isn’t necessary. Give each other the space to miss each other and wonder about each other in between dates.

  29. >Older Men

    >early thirties

    TIL that I am an older man.
    Joking/sad facts aside, this sounds like something I would do. I’m uncomfortable with texting because there’s a lack of subtext. I definitely depend on body language / facial cues in order to have good communication with someone

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