Does it turn you off if a girl shows too much interest e.g flirting or innuendos through text, body contact thru subtle touches etc
Ik it’s 2023 soon and this is kind of old fashioned but I read somewhere guys like the chase and don’t like it if the girl is too receptive? Would like to listen to the thoughts of the guys here
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There’s a healthy balance. Neediness to most people is unattractive, no matter the gender. Too little interest is just as bad as too much.
In general, because people have different preferences in the amount of flirting, frequency of texting, touching etc. they prefer, it’s always a good idea to watch how they respond. If they seem to give you the same vibe back then you can increase your efforts a tiny bit. If they seem to back off or give you the cold shoulder, then you should probably pull back. Your ability to read and evaluate their responses becomes important for you to be able to dial in the right of amount of interest to show with each person you like. Take “the hints” by reading their body language and texting responsiveness.
I’m married (been with my husband 9 years).
The secret to being in a happy, sustainable relationship is simple compatibility. If you care about love languages and you want the relationship to be easy, you just need to find a partner who says “I love you” in the way you naturally hear it best and who equally hears “I love you” in the way you most naturally express it. My husband and I are compatible in this way and say “I love you” without thinking about it all day long with our actions.
Flirting before you’re a couple works the exact same way. You want to vibe naturally. Forcing yourself to act differently will just exhaust you in the long term. Yes, you need to be chill because being too much can scare someone off, but being chill doesn’t mean being shy or aloof or whatever you think you’re supposed to be.
If you’re an assertive person, you’re going to want a partner who accepts your assertiveness. They’re going to have to be okay with you asking them out. No you shouldn’t brow beat them into a date (that’s the opposite of being chill), but you should feel comfortable being yourself. If you’re not comfortable being yourself, you aren’t going to be happy in the relationship.
All guys are different. My husband loves it when I’m assertive.
I’m lazy so if she’s doing some or most of the work, I’m all for it.
Yes. There is a fine line between showing interest and being clingy. Clingy is not cool.
I’d say it’s a personal preference, based also on the type of conditioning a man had to grow up with, his emotional maturity and ability to distinguish, and also what needs he’s looking after in his life. As for me, I like to have a very intense bond with a partner and i have nothing against strong hints and initiative, as long as she knows her worth and doesn’t crush me with actions when they are motivated by fear. If it’s just her character to be touchy and proactive, great, because liking those traits means liking what’s special about her. In case of fear-motivated closeness, i try to have compassion and look if she’s open for growth in our relationship, so it’s not the action what i take into consideration but rather the intention and if i am a good match for that.
This is not true
Totally up to you man! Depends on how much I like her. I think everyone has their own threshold.
I had an ex that was very aloof and another after her that was too interested. Figured I want something in the middle.
Again, this is subjective. If you yourself feel “ she is too interested” thats fine.
If you don’t mind it then its also fine.
enough to peak my interest, but not too much where it is too easy.
Depends on the man. If he gets a lot of attention from women, he may enjoy the chase, but I think most men just want to be wanted. Obviously it can go too far in the opposite direction to the point of being needy, and that’s a turnoff. But a lot of men will interpret “playing hard to get” as disinterest and move on.
On a date? Hell no. I love it. Girls, please make it easy for us dudes, a lot of guys out there are fucking clueless.
Everyone likes a little bit of a chase, but the biggest problem isn’t a girl being too touchy feely on a date, it’s talking too much about feelings, the future, etc. On the other hand, a guy being too touchy feely on a date can ruin his chances.
I personally think this whole liking the chase thing is bullshit. Just be open and be yourself, if you like him and want to show it then do so.
There is no such thing as too little, at least for me. Playing hard to get for me is a turn off
Depends on my interest in the girl
Yeah it depends on the guy. If you have a guy who is flirting a lot with different women, you might want to let him chase. If you have someone like my friend, the big friendly giant with a broad social network but little romantic experience because he has an active lifestyle… that kind of guy you can just approach and flirt with.
No guys do not like to chase, let’s just say for the sake of the discussion, we start talking. I’m only texting and interacting with you because I think you’re interested in me, and if i get the sense that you’re interest has been taken from me and given to another male, I will now show less interest, and that should go for you as well. When guys say they like to chase, they usually mean you’re too busy with your career, or your passionate hobby, that does not apply in any way shape or form to you involving yourself with another male. I don’t even like to use to the word chase because somewhere along the line it got confused with compete, I’m not going to compete for you, as you should not for me. I’m happy to show you my genuine interest in you by giving you the time to partake in your hobbies and interests, as a way to show even more (if i haven’t shown enough) that I’m genuinely interested in you, but not if those hobbies and interests are based on other men. At the end of the day i’m trying to build a relationship with you not your guy friends, not your yoga teacher, or your ex boyfriend/baby daddy.
The only differences in men and women, for the most part, is the general kinds of traumas and various experiences they have gone through in life that shape us.. that may be gender specific in a lot of cases.. but deep down, we all want the same thing. ..anyways, that’s just my opinion and what I’ve seen.
I’m totally okay with it to be honest romance is almost dead everybody’s just so glued to their phones as I’m typing on Reddit. really flirting compassion romance hell yeah give it to me.
If the man finds you attractive it won’t matter much
As long as you don’t come off as clingy. To try to talk to each other 24/7 don’t ask to hangout all the time and don’t start making plans about the future too soon
Guys are less likely to think someone is showing them too much interest than girls, most guys would be thrilled to get any interest from a girl at all
> Does it turn you off if a girl shows too much interest
Generally speaking, no. If I’m into this particular woman, “too much interest” is generally the *right* amount of interest to tell me that she’s into me too.
The variants in this situation: some men don’t like the attention (and further, some men don’t like physical contact, or some like the physical but won’t like the texting). Some women will go *overboard* with “showing their interest”, like inappropriate touching (or inappropriate timing for touching or texting), or living by “they’ll understand that you like them if you hurt them”. Or, maybe the woman is into me, but I’m not into them–so while I may be reading that they like me Like That, I’m either gonna politely pretend not to know, or actively–gently–put a stop to the activities (and hopefully in a manner where she doesn’t get offended).
And finally, it could be the man is receiving all the “interest”, but the woman is just trying to be nice, or is just overly flirty for her own good. It’s all fun and games until the intentions are made clear…. upon which both parties need to reflect on their actions and words.
When the interest being shown to me starts to interfere with my life vs being a pleasant addition.
Everyone is different, I think it depends if they’re interested in you. But for me if a girl overly flirts and a lot innuendos I’ll assume she does that with a lot of guys and only wants to have fun.
Depends on how interested the guy is.
For most guys too much interest is talking about marriage on date 3 and love bombing.
For other guys they may not be interested, or they may be taken. Flirting can make things awkward with their SO.
Some guys do like the chase, but you have to show some flirting or innuendo for him to chase. He will do the same to you. To a 3rd party it will look like less of a chase and more like a mutually delayed collision as both parties play the game of flirt and bait until they finally get together. It’s really more of a dance than a chase.
No innuendo or flirting on your part = you are not interested. He has no reason to flirt or continue to flirt.
No innuendo or flirting on your part also = no fun and he looks like a creep and stalker. It is no fun to wear someone down and brow beat them into something.
Honestly, it depends on the guy. Best way to make sure he doesn’t miss the hint? Tell him flat-out. If the guy in question gets a lot of attention from girls, he may find a bit of mystery alluring, making you stand out among the others, but if he’s like most guys, any attention is more attention than he’s used to.
That said, even if he’s already bathing in attention from women, a brazenly open and direct approach may also make it so you stand out in a good way.
It’s just going to depend on the person because obviously there would be some people who are okay with it and some people who are not.
I’m one of those people who thinks that if you show too much interest at the beginning maybe you have some game or maybe you’re a player
But it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate a girl who knows how to flirt with me and increase my interest in her and that could very well include being all up in my personal space and excessive touching and flirting like you describe
It really depends on the vibe that we give each other for example whether I think she’s just playing me and leading me on or if she legitimately likes me and it’s not afraid to show it
Anything above 5% APY is questionable
Yes, I get turned off if she comes on too strong or chases too much. Follow my lead, woman!
at my age, I’m just tired of the mind games, I want honest straightforwardness, just tell me what you like doing and tell me what you don’t like to be done and we’re both happy.
I speak only for myself, but god do I loathe this whole chase nonsense. Please go ahead and flirt and such!
That Shit ain’t gon turn me off. Never to much for me Lmaoo
Honestly if they’re attractive I wouldn’t mind at all, but obviously there are levels to this stuff
No not to me, but its a double standard, for girls its slutty for guys its creepy.
> Does it turn you off if a girl shows too much interest e.g flirting or innuendos through text, body contact thru subtle touches etc
no, it’s awesome.
> I read somewhere guys like the chase and don’t like it if the girl is too receptive?
men like that probably exist, but most well-adjusted men i know hate that shit (“chasing”)
For me personally there’s a fine line between letting your interest be known, and seeming promiscuous or desperate. Sometimes we need a clue, and it’s great to know you’re sexually attracted to us. Just don’t over do it and give us the impression you’re that forward with every guy you find attractive. I’ve definitely got that vibe before, and it made me feel she was untrustworthy for anything beyond a casual fling.
I would a woman to do this for me
Subtle touching is good. I’m not much of a flirty texter and frankly I get annoyed when I receive too many messages. The best way of winning a man’s heart is by actually showing up to the date and holding his hand. My ex did this and it was like giving me the green light to make a move.
A lot of women just do nothing. I had a girl invite me to her place to watch a movie but I ended up not making a move because she gave no indication of wanting to be physically close. In the age of rampant sexual harassment, you can’t blame a guy for not trying to feel you up if you don’t even brush up against him.
Guy or girl, I don’t think it matters much. We all like receiving interest from people we are interested in. The only time, it can seem like too much, especially for me, is when I’m not interested or it seems obsessive.
I think that “playing games” like this can be childish and unnecessary if you’re looking for a long-term partner. It’s a form of manipulation that works for men who get a lot of female attention. Their ego gets hurt by the fact you’re not giving them the attention they expect, and they will view you as more valuable because of that.
The best option in my opinion is just to display however much interest your gut feeling tells you to. Being upfront about your attachment style will result in you finding somebody who is also upfront and has a similar attachment style, which is more conducive to a healthy and happy long-term relationship.
If you’re just looking for short-term stuff and you opt to play games, you may get better results with certain men and I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with “undulating” your display of interest in this circumstance.
If he knows how to handle a woman, you wouldn’t be asking that question
I want the girl to spam me to death with everything she has to say. Would be the dream
That’s complete nonsense. Guys don’t like the mind games that come with chasing. I don’t chase. If I have to work for something someone else is just giving away. It’s not worth it.
Yeah, in 2023 I’d venture to say that, “playing hard to get,” is going to be seen as, “well she’s not interested.” Which in a post #MeToo time, is the outcome sought after I’d assume.
“k it’s 2023 soon and this is kind of old fashioned but I read somewhere guys like the chase and don’t like it if the girl is too receptive?”
If I have to chase, I’m not interested. If she isn’t matching my energy and effort, I’m out.
Games suck, and if I have to drag you across the finish line, I would rather move on and find someone who shows it.