So some context: I am a mid-20s straight male, recently out of a relationship and going on a lot of dating app dates. In the process, I have met some very cool, fun and attractive women, but when it comes to sex with a few of them, I feel very turned off by them having excessive pubic hair, as I LOVE giving head and find it one of the sexiest parts of being with a woman. This makes me quite sad, especially because I actually really like and click with one in particular (who has expressed to me she is adamantly against shaving).
I must emphasize that I don’t mind armpit hair or what not – I don’t expect a woman to be fully shaved or whatever – but I get frustrated with the notion that wanting someone’s vagina to be shaved (or at least trimmed nicely) is weird or entitled. It just makes it much easier to go full freak mode and kiss/lick around, tease her, and have a good time without worrying about hair in my mouth (or smell sometimes, as hair tends to trap sweat quite easily).
[EDIT note: I also shave my entire body, for context. I just don’t like body hair on me unless it’s on my head.]
Another concern I have is not being able to get a good look at someone’s compartment for health reasons. I have had times where I almost went down on someone, and as I was about to get into it, I noticed they had what looked like warts or bumps, and I was not convinced that it was safe to engage in sex. I think it’s important to be able to withdraw consent if you feel like your health is at risk/the other person is lying about or may not be aware of STDs they might carry.
This fear is grounded in catching molluscum contagiousum (harmless skin condition that produces wart-like bumps on various areas of the body, including the genitalia) off a partner when I was young because we had sex in a dark room and I never really saw what the state of affairs were.
I’m pretty sure there was a time (perhaps in the early 2000s to mid 2010/ms) where there was a lot of discussion about and a big push for straight men to engage in “manscaping”, which I think is a completely reasonable request to have. I would never want to subject my partner to having to bury their face in my pubes to give me head, and I enjoy when my partner has full access to all of my goods without impediment.
Guess I’m just looking to hear peoples’ sentiment on this. I feel like I hold an unpopular and unmanageable opinion and it makes me feel alone.
6 comments
The wilderness must be explored! (But it’s your preference and anything you choose is fine)
With your first point, preference is just preference so not much you can do about that. You can maybe consider not making head as big part of your “moves” if you click sexually on every other level.
With the STD thing, I know what you’re getting at but I really wouldn’t rely on visual test to be your only indicator. If you’re concerned about STDs then it’s better to get confirmation they recently tested
Honestly this is a pretty unpopular opinion among women in my experience! Everyone is entitled to their preferences so I don’t think you are wrong, but I do think you are going to have to find someone who is willing to do this for you, and I don’t think your background info or reasons are going to help you very much (if someone gave me your STD reason I would think it was bs to be honest, you’re not a doctor and genitals can be weird), it’s going to be someone who already likes this level of grooming and hopefully appreciates the fact that you are also hairless.
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Again, you’re not wrong for wanting things this way but I do think you need to have a realistic understanding of how it is going to come off to some of your partners. They also aren’t wrong for their own preferences and things will go better for you if you are able to navigate finding someone who is on the same page as you without getting frustrated.
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Preference is preference, there is not wrong with that. I like being completely shaved, but I can see why other women may not like it. I suggest telling your dates (when you know it’s gonna end in bed) that you have a thing for nicely shaved 🐱, so they can prepare.
Yeah maybe a see a Dr. Your on the path of chomo