Weight-loss challenge to revive a semi-dead bedroom – looking for your best ideas

I’d like to start by saying that I don’t know if this is the right place to post this. Variations of it can and likely will go to r/Fitness and r/BDSMAdvice .

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TL:DR – My wife (we’re both in our early 30s) came to me with a very interesting proposition yesterday. For every kg of weight I lose, she’ll do any sexual act I ask for. When I hit the 10kg and 20kg marks I get a bonus wish, and at 25kg (when I get to my target weight) we’ll have a threesome with a woman we both like. I’d like lots of ideas of fun things that I can ask her as I make progress with her challenge.

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Context:

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We’ve been in a relationship for over a decade now. We were initially long distance, and whenever we saw each other we just couldn’t get enough of each other. We even had to slow it down because I was having issues with the amount friction. We were also kind of kinky (I personally am super kinky), I could get her over the edge with dirty talk, we had a few anal incursions, I got a prostate massager for myself and countless toys for her. There was general openness and satisfaction with our sex life. Early in our relationship, my wife also expressed curiosity in being with a woman at some point, and potentially having a threesome someday.

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This all changed drastically around the time we got married. We started having sex less often and her mood constantly went from depressive to happy, and then angry in a matter of hours. We were fighting every day, and there were periods of weeks or months when we didn’t have any sex at all. Eventually she started therapy, and it came up that she had been abused not long before we got married. We went to couples therapy and things improved a lot. She’s no longer angry all the time, her depression is mostly at bay, and we don’t fight more than most couples. However, our sex life still hasn’t recovered. We usually have sex a couple times a month, and it is always super quick and vanilla. She rarely or never initiates, and I get rejected most times when I initiate. She tells me that I should insist if she pushes me away out of reflex, but given her abuse experience (and honestly, given how tiring it is to be rejected all the time), I’m always super cautious and generally give up quickly. I’ve also gained a lot of weight over the last few years, which I’m sure doesn’t help her feel that attracted to me.

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Queue her genius idea. I’m \*SO EXCITED\*. We are going to have so much fun, and I’m going to get healthier in the process. I’m thinking of so many things. But I would like your advice in terms of the progression of things that I could ask her to do. I think I should keep it mild at the beginning and make it more interesting/kinky every time. I expect to get a ‘wish’ every 10 days or so.

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I’m thinking some progression like: dirty talk, specific positions, blindfolds, outfits, cuffs/restrains, plugs, edging, some mild public action (something I know turns her on a lot)… She has also told me she wants to warm up slowly into the eventual threesome by flirting with a girl at a bar in front of me, or things like that. I’m thinking maybe I could dare her to make out with a girl as one of my wishes?

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Anyways, I half wanted to share this with people because I’m so excited, and half need advice/ideas for things I can ask her. Let me know your ideas, fellow redditors! What would you ask your partner, if you could ask them to do anything?