some people say its good to be single but when youve always been single i cant help think theres something fucked up with me. drug addicts, alcoholics, morbidly obese people, homeless, they somehow get relationships and i cant.

love is all i want and most people take it for granted, spending every birthday and christmas alone is killing me while everyone is happy with their familys at this time of year

25 comments
  1. Just your statement about “how other people “your judgment of how other people find love -is why you can’t find love. Love isn’t something that judges. Love doesn’t care if you’re fat ,if you drink, if you match your socks. But for you to list obesity as someone who said somehow not deserve love as much as you do -that’s what you need to work on.

  2. Well I can tell you eventhough I have anxiety and panic disorder I have eventually managed to find a girlfriend. It may take a lot of time but its not impossible.

    That beimg said i had to check your comment history and must say that you have to get therapy like I did.
    Its important and your problems aren’t gonna go away just by being with someone.

    You also need to stay away from foreveralone subreddits and the likes cause they, by design make people more miserable.

    I believe you can do it though 100%

  3. The thing that is truly damaging is believing romantic love is the only important kind of love. Being single does not mean that you aren’t loved, and you dismissing the people around you is what makes you feel lonely.

  4. Hey, I do get how you feel and at some point of my time, I felt the same. What’s a blessing for me is, I don’t wallow in self pity or lack too long. I chose to switch my mind thinking and value and love myself. Over time, I continue to do things (instead of ppl) that make me happy,

    I build myself to become the person I want to love and receive love. Amazing, I fell in love with myself… Hahaha. This is extremely helpful coz I no longer need validation or someone to love me. I love myself enough to treat myself well. And with the energy shift and how I build myself as person, unknowingly, I draw the right people to my life and able to cut off ppl that affect me in negative way.

    My life is fulfilling now and I detach from ppl so even if I’m let down over time for whatever reasons by ppl, I know I have myself. With that said, I take care and plan well for myself so that I can manage when I’m old, even when alone.

    Tbh, I felt lonelier when I “want” ppl. When I’m contented being with myself, all others that come to my life as like bonus and I enjoyed time but also be very aware not to be “attached” to people. It’s a protection mechanism but it’s helpful for my growth and pursue what makes me whole within.

    Hope this helps and wish you well!

  5. i mean, i know that i wouldn’t love someone who thinks homeless people and alcoholics are lesser-deserving of love

  6. I’m 31 and have been single all my life. Never dated, hugged, kissed, held hands, etc.

    So yeah, it sucks.

  7. There isn’t anything wrong with you. It’s a life-long journey; learn to love yourself first…the test really will come.

  8. I think it’s liberating.. you can stop giving a shot about others and just be selfish guilt free

  9. Well, perfect opportunity to use this pain and self doubt and shape yourself into the man you want to become. Go to the gym, eat healthy, work on your passions, do some fighting sports, music, art whatever. Become who you want to attract and stop whining.

  10. I know the feeling. I made a post about online dating and rejection earlier this week. Just have to keep grinding. That’s what I’m doing. There’s nothing wrong with you.

  11. I feel for you. This is going to be my third Christmas alone in a row and it does eat me up.

  12. The grass is always greener on the other side people say. I had a relationship 10 years ago to where I loved this person and thought they were going to be the one I was going to marry. Turns out they cheated on me and she broke it off because she lost feelings for me right before my final exam in university. I still haven’t figured out as a male how to process that pain and still to this date I reject myself or am not confident enough to take girls on dates or convey my thoughts into a long term relationship. Good people have given many parts of their heart to the one person they loved because they love harder. Once it’s been shattered to pieces it and almost glued back together it is hard to rebuild that confidence to seek meaningful relationships.

  13. I’d say it’s even worse to have known what it’s like to be loved (romantically), but no longer have that. For most of my life, I was single. It was lonely, and I did want to be loved. Then, earlier this year, I dated someone (for the first time in my life) for a few months. I wouldn’t say we were IN love, but there were certainly strong feelings there. It felt so good, but when it ended, it was the loneliest I’ve ever felt. Even lonelier than the decades I spent being single.

    Now, several months later, I’m doing better. I’ve built up a social life and made some great friends, some of whom I’m very close to. But I still get extremely lonely at times and really miss being loved in a romantic sense.

  14. feeling unloved and alone can be a very painful and difficult experience. It’s understandable that you would feel frustrated and upset about not having a partner or feeling loved in the way that you want.

    At the same time, it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey and experience with love is unique. Just because some people may seem to have relationships or be in happy partnerships, doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or that you are unlovable.

    It can be helpful to focus on building a sense of self-love and self-worth, rather than relying on external sources of validation or love. This can involve engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family members, and taking care of your physical and emotional well-being.

    It’s also important to remember that relationships, whether romantic or platonic, take time and effort to cultivate. It’s okay to be patient and to continue to work on yourself and your own happiness while also seeking out meaningful connections with others.

  15. A lot of people who think they have, or appear to have experienced the kind of love you want actually haven’t. Focus on bringing joy to your life in ways you can control.

  16. You are not alone.. everyone asks where are all the good men at. At yet here I am at 36 single as a Pringle like a forgotten item that someone forgot to rotate out on the shelf but is stuck way in the back of all.the other items in the dark…

  17. First, You are looking at people’s social mask. When you say everyone is happy with their families this time of year is completely false. Stop looking at social media.
    Do you have friends (make and female)?

  18. Don’t rush into anything. I get it, it sucks to be single your whole life, but it’s even worse being in a relationship where you’re not loved and valued. I didn’t realize I was in one of those until my current relationship started and realizing it kinda fucked with my head but that’s life I guess

  19. I think romantic love is overrated. Sure it’s great to be in love, but I think long-term friendships are best to go with to feel less lonely. I am not close to my family but I have four very good friends I have known for about 20 years that are constantly present in my life. I don’t need much for company. I like to be alone. But that’s me. But when I feel lonely which I rarely do, I reach to my friends and chat up with them and hang out with them then I dont feel lonely anymore. I think being dependent on other people for your own happiness is a bad idea. Your source of happiness should come from within yourself and it can be through hobbies or activities you enjoy on your own. Do try find a way to be happy on your own and you will be better for it. Romantic partners come and go, but quality friendships are forever. Just my two cents.

  20. I just wanna tell you as someone who is morbidly obese, I can pull them in, but I can’t get them to stay. I understand your pain fren.

  21. Can’t just take, have to be ready to give. People don’t want selfish people. Are you ready to date?

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