TL;DR!
My best friend (F.21) is dating a guy (M.40) I’ve tried to warn her about this, but she is naive and doesn’t listen to reason. She just wants to be loved.
Her boyfriend (M.40) has nothing going for himself. She (F.21) has given him so much money since May 2022, it’s ridiculous.
He has several children who he doesn’t care for in different states and I warned my friend about this. I told her, it’s very unlikely that he will stick around if you were pregnant and plus, why do you want to be with someone who acts like their own flesh and blood doesn’t exist? She doesn’t care, I guess.
Fast forward a few months and she’s pregnant. I once again gave her my opinion on it. I told her it’s a mistake. You hardly know him. You’ve only been dating for a few months and he has a clear record of getting women pregnant and dipping out once he’s bored and whatever the case may be. Again, she doesn’t listen and she told her boyfriend. Her boyfriend convinced her that I am in love with her and I am only trying to break them up to have her all to myself so now she’s not speaking to me. I know most will say just leave her be, but I can’t watch someone care about destroy their life just for a little bit of love and affection.
5 comments
You already said all the stuff. Unfortunately, she’s the one who has to make the decision to leave, and she’s not able to do that right now. You could try sending her one last big long message that shows a lot of care and encourages her to move on, but I suspect it will be met with the same indifference. Sometimes in these situations, friends will get to a point where they have to send a message that basically says, “I will be here if things fall apart and you need somebody to talk to, but I can’t support you doing this to yourself” and then fade the friendship.
Stop watching her, stop hanging out with her, stop contacting her. Or you will have to watch this train wreck in slow motion.
She is an adult and made this choice herself.
This is not your situation to stop. Whether you like it or not, she’s made her choice. Unfortunately, you can not stop anyone from making mistakes. Sometimes, hard life lessons happen to us. You might think she doesn’t deserve this, but that’s not your choice. Be her friend or walk away.
You let them come to the conclusion that they’re in a dumpster fire on their own.
Gross, that guy sucks.