I can’t understand why I’m getting a backlash from a girl for turning her down at a club when she asked me to “go back to her place” because she was too drunk?

I (22M) went out recently to a party at a club with some friends at University and I bumped into a girl (22F) who I had known briefly through mutual friends at the central campus café nearer the start of term. At the club, she was walking past me with her clique of friends and I approached her to ask her how she was doing and how her term was getting along.

During the conversation, her friends had left her and gone elsewhere in the club. The club had recently had allegations of groping, assault, spiking etc. so I was nervous not to let her walk on her own for fear of her getting hurt or assualted etc. I couldn’t see her friends towards the end of our initial conversation as the club was packed I offered to continue having a conversation with her by sitting on the waiting benches towards the corner of the club (where it was quieter) and hopefully waiting for her friends to walk past again.

She had a small amount to drink although she was perfectly conscious and held a cup of alcohol (I assume wine? in her hand) and I don’t drink myself due to fear of vulnerability in terms of the behaviour that my friends had exhibited when they were drink. Thus, I was a designated driver per-se and I sat with her, getting to know her more and asking questions about her life before University.

As the conversation developed, she asked me to hold her hand and she eventually asked me if I wanted to kiss her. I told her I’d never done so although I’d be up for it. We kissed in the corner of the club for nearer to an hour and in that time, she was enjoying it a lot as I was taking it slow and asking her where she wanted to be kissed (and in what way – thanks to the advice I regularly read on r/sex). However, I felt that she was becoming more drunk (i.e. further away from her quasi-tipsy state at the start of the interaction when she walked past me). I explained to her that I didn’t feel comfortable anymore as I was sober and I didn’t want to do anything to her that might hurt her as she was drunk whilst I do not drink and I offered to find her friends in the club so that I could go home instead. She asked me if I wanted to go back to her place for sex to which I politely declined as I didn’t feel the dynamic was appropriate and I became nervous of the possibility of being accused *falsely* for rape.

I walked her home and dropped her off before leaving to go to my accomodation for the night. I messaged her the night after to explain the circumstances behind my rejection of her advance for sex as she was too drunk and I didn’t feel it was appropriate to take advantage of someone in a drunk state. She admitted she was drunk but thanked me that I didn’t take her offer to go home with her. She asked me if I was comfortable remaining friends with her and I said that it was not a problem as I behave in an adult fashion and don’t consider such interactions as a dent in a friendship/assocation like this one.

However, behind the scenes, she was very angry and she had told friends that I suggested the idea of kissing her (even though I’d never kissed anyone before and was not interested in anything of the sort as I consider myself a demisexual) and she said that I was a horrible person and made her feel terrible. I checked-up on her a week later after the party to check that she was okay as she wanted to work on a project at University that I was working on and she said she was perfectly fine although a week after my enquiry, she messaged me to tell me that that even though I asked her if she was okay, she said that she was “not okay and didn’t feel comfortable telling me so”. I heard about the accusations she was making about me through a sports friend of mine on her course and I proceeded to block her on all my social media and cancelled the project that we were working on, citing personal reasons from the accusations I was facing.

I reported the situation to the University’s student affairs board who had said that they would be monitoring the situation for further developments. I later found out that she had been accused of “moral misbehaviours” towards other students across the University including one of my close friends. She had later asked her flatmates to stalk me and alert her of my whereabouts whenever I was working in the University library or socialising in the college café. This was evident as her friends would be “spotting” me and immediately running to her to point in my general viscinity to let her know where I was located.

I’m not sure where I’ve gone wrong in this whole situation although the hostility has been very bad to deal with from all fronts. I thought that she would accept the rejection of sex in the same way that men like myself take rejection in hook-ups not as a dent in our personalities but as a natural process. However, clearly I was mistaken.

Have I done anything wrong her in terms of rejecting an advance as a man or was I correct in my assessment of the situation at the club?

*Originally, I tried posting this on* r/AmItheAsshole *but they said the contents of this post concerned violent themes of e.g. “rape” which it does not! Apologies also if the answer to my question above seems obvious but given my ordeal, I’m not sure what I did was correct or not.*

**EDIT:** Just added detail on how the story moves from a kiss to the topic of sex, as per the sub. Also, typos fixed.