If you couldn’t provide properly for your wife and kids how you would feel about it?

27 comments

1. Change something

2. Afraid and in constant need of reassurance that I could still be worthwhile in other ways.

3. Well, if I couldn’t provide, but my wife and I as a team could I’d feel personally a little let down.
   However, if I couldn’t and neither could my wife and I, I would change something. Feelings would become a secondary issue

4. Starving in extreme cases.

5. Been there. I cried alot

6. Have her get a job.

7. I would feel like what the fuck i’m doing in relationship where i need to provide for everyone

8. If we as a family we’re doing everything we could then I would have no regrets.

9. I would change something.

10. I’m not sure but I’m just sitting here right now after having read this—& am so grateful and happy for not being married or having kids. Tyvm for the reminder

11. She would get a job marriage is a partnership. If the minimum wage was like it was in the 50s and 60s and you could support a stay at home wife on it that’s a different story, only one of us would need to work but it’s not automatically me as the man who should be working it’s whoever is best able.

12. We’re a team.

13. Well, that’s what I’m planning for. So if I’d be in that situation I’d definitely gone very wrong somewhere and the plan would be to change that however possible.

    Currently, I have a firm belief(?) that I do not want to struggle when I have a family, I do not want them to struggle or miss out on certain things because of the choices or mistakes I made. An individual can struggle all they want, but their children shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences.

14. If we are a married team with each of us doing our part, then I would propose I work more or move up north and trade my health for cash so she can do better for my kids.

15. There are many reasons why I am not in a relationship, but inability to provide sufficient resources for a potential girlfriend is one of the most self-prohibitive ones. I absolutely refuse to ever try my hand at the dating game until I have a respectable amount of wealth to offer prospective mating partners.

    Even if I looked like Grichka Bogdanoff and my car was Lightning McQueen and my dick was 8 miles long (as to reach the posterior fornix), I still would not proffer my affections to the female sex unless I could provide her with an easy life, free from toil and supermarket brand foodstuffs.

16. Define properly?

17. I wouldn’t get married in the first place unless I had enough income for my wife to be a stay at home mom. I also wouldn’t have kids unless I was making over 125k a year and had a few rental properties/investments on that level.

18. Learn ways to improve myself with the constant support of my wife.

19. They gotta chip in, there is no free meals

20. Society and family have done well to condition me to where I would consider this a total life failure on my part. I’d take a hard look at the fine print on my life insurance policy and put some serious thought towards the ultimate solution for myself. Well, more serious thought, at least.

    This falls in the category of fairly unhealthy, and I should probably do something about it, but, too busy providin’.

21. I imagine I’d feel like a failure. But as the now adult of a child of a man who “failed”, I want to tell you that I’m forever grateful to my dad for doing all that he can and I believe he succeeded in raising us.

22. I’d feel like my wife would most likely file for divorce and find some other guy that could properly provide for her.

23. I don’t need to provide for my partner, she’s a grown adult. I need to *contribute* and pull my own weight, as does she. I don’t feel like either of us should be shouldering the burden alone.

    I don’t have kids, but that would be a different story. Again, I’d want to be able to do my fair share in providing for them and if it all had to fall onto my partner I’d feel like a failure. Not because I’m a man, but because I think both parents should be providing for their kids.

24. But i can, and she also is able to do so, as she makes even more money than i do, and i already get paid pretty decently

25. If I could t make enough to support my family, I’d feel guilty at all times knowing that in some way, I can do better. Unless I really am trying my best and everyone knows it, then it’s something out of my control and that the wife needs to have some some of the burden shared

26. A main reason I am single is because I feel a need to be able to support them even if it’s not needed.

    I’ve had gf for 16 years. She has no kids and I could support her. But she wants to feel independent also. I respect that. But she has taken that to extreme levels.

    If I met a single mother who has a steady job while raising the kid, that says something and I can work with that.

    Mostly I feel like if I had someone else here to help with bills and chores, we might be able to get a better home in a few years. But living alone, this home is enough for me by myself.

27. Depends on what you mean by provide

    Financially? Well it’s time to cut back on certain expenses and learn how to work with your new budget

    Emotionally? Well if I can’t provide for them, then I have failed as an individual. It’s time to make a change. Whether that’s better communication, outside counseling, divorce, etc. Doing what’s best for the other individuals is what first comes to mind