Hello my(F24) boyfriend (29) of 6 months just got the call that he needed to get home to be with his father(65), who’s health has severely declined due to non alcoholic liver chirrosis. I want to be as supportive as possible to him but he doesn’t share his emotions much. To any of you who have lost a parent or close to it was there anything someone did that made you feel better in the moment?
3 comments
Don’t try to force him to share his emotions or steer the conversation to the topic of his dad, if he is not talking about it, he may just want to talk about other things to get his mind off of what is happening, even if want he is talking about doesn’t seem relevant to you.
Don’t invalidate his emotions, let him know it is okay to feel however he maybe feeling at that time.
Really comes down to your love language / how you show love. Whatever your language is, show more of it.
For example. For someone who’s language is touch, you can give warm and expressive hugs. The kind of hugs that’s your pour your soul into.
If your language is quality time. You don’t necessarily have to spend more time with them, but make the time you spend with them count. Make plans and have them involved, or if they are okay with it. Do your own activities but in the presence of one another (one reads book, other plays video games)
I lost my dad to cancer in college and loneliness consumed me. Lost friends who wanted to do their own thing. Abusive gf went study abroad. Grades plummeted and depression weighed me down.
Don’t let loneliness consume your bf.
Hi I just lost my father a few months back. We had a big heads up but the last week or so it was any day could be the day sorta thing.
The night we got the call to come in right away my sisters and I where VERY drunk. My fiancée was asleep she had work super early the next day. I woke her up and she didn’t even hesitate. She drove us 3 drunk incoherent, emotionally unwell people to the hospital. She slept in the parking lot and hugged me tighter then anyone has before. She held my hand when I wanted. And gave me space when I needed. She just went with the flows of my emotions and I swear I would take a bullet for that girl.
My advice would is to be open and flexibil. To give when you can and stay away if that’s what he needs. Just be there for him. Hell notice even if he doesn’t say it out loud.