I have a really good job, so money isn’t really a concern. I’m stuck in a smaller city for another 2 years. The city is a university dominate city, so any bars, clubs, and social events are really filled up with young people 18 – 22 blackout drunk kids. I’m almost 30.

There really aren’t many social activities here either. Many of my old friends and I have gone separate paths (toxic friends).

How does one meet people?

14 comments
  1. Look for events and meetups for groups that focus on a hobby/passion/cause you are interested in. Meet like-minded people who share one or more of your interests.

  2. Try joining a club affiliated with the university that attracts grad students. You’ll meet more mature people closer to your age, and make good long-term connections.

  3. Have you tried meetups? I joined a group to watch movies and we meet and watch movies. I haven’t really made friends yet but its something to do that I like while being social. Just search meetups and your city name. You can also start a meetup for something you like to do. I was looking for one playing cards but haven’t worked up the nerve to join one yet because I might have to make small talk. I also play several instruments so am looking for one to play together and sing. Try that.

    Be careful of the ones that advertise introvert meetups. I joined a couple and they turned out to be people who want introverts to “socialize” more. That was uncomfortable.

  4. Almost 30 isn’t 30 + as long as they are 21+ don’t think abt it too hard yung women like older men anyway

  5. If there’s a university, there are also social activities. All the university staff are your age and older and want entertainment, too. Check out local notice boards, meetup.com snd the likes, ask your colleagues what they know of.

    There are bound to be activity groups.

  6. If you wanna avoid the bar/ party scene daytime activities are probably your best bet

    Taking a class (with multiple sessions) is one way. I’ve met a few people taking fencing classes. My friend met a good friend when they took weekly ceramics classes at a studio.

  7. So just something to add here that’s different from all the other (very useful) responses – universities also have grad students. PhD students are in the 24-30 age bracket, generally interesting folks (biased :P) – as in yes they’re super nerdy about what they do, but they’re also very social – you have to be – and they’d love to have a friend with a real job and a nice house they can gather around in on weekends and such.

    They’re also (mostly) past the age where they puke their drinks out :).

    The other advice I would have is that meeting new people is mostly a bootstrapping problem. Once you have a robust enough social circle, you keep stumbling into new people via friends of friends and so on.

    Think of the kind of things you’d like to do. If it’s, say, tennis – get a tennis instructor or a drilling ball thing and just go and practice by yourself in a court. If you see someone there who’s your type, just ask if you can play with them (do you guys play regularly? I’m new to the town and was looking for folks to play with). It’s that easy!

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