Edit; my fear is that this guy didn’t actually like me and just saw an opportunity for an easy hookup. Thats why i dont want to reach out.
This comes from a problematic way of seeing myself that i have. Despite guys flirting with me and lusting over me, i never can believe they are into me.
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I am a 23 y.o girl. Met a guy weeks ago on a night out. I was drunk. He wasnt. There was lots of flirting and some physical contact. Stupid me told him i wasn’t interested despite then being flirty.
He tried to kiss me multiple times and i kept pulling away. But i would keep flirting.
I liked his personality and way of being… Annnd days later i realized i developed a crush. A close friend of him is an acquaintance…
I felt like we had intense chemistry (ofc i was drunk but like from what i can tell) and i really like him. Now what? I haven’t seen him since that night nor has he contacted me via social media (he easily could ask his friend for my contact).
I regret saying i wasn’t interested cause that was a lie. What should i do? I dont want to contact him cause i have this irrational fear of him not *actually* being into/ attracted to me but just seeing me as an easy hookup.
But i csnt stop thinking about him and i feel like i’ll live with these doubts and what if’s forever. Its eating me alive. The worst part is i already know i am too prideful and also pussy to risk it and text him. I don’t want to do the first step. It makes me feel so uneasy.
23 comments
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Get his info, tell him as policy you don’t try to start dating when you’ve been drinking but that you are interested and would like to get to know him while sober, over lunch. Easy.
It’s never too late. He clearly liked you on some level; you’ve got nothing to lose in reaching out to say “you know what; I do like you I was just feeling a little flustered so I said no!”. Don’t miss the opportunity by leaving it unsaid.
weren’t you the same person who made a post yesterday said that you were seeing some guy who was obsessive or controlling? atp i just think you’re a troll trying to make women look bad.
Get therapy
Dummy
Text the friend of his whom you know.
☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
If HE’S interested, he will reach out. He won’t give up that easily. Trust me on this. Whatever you do, don’t be the one to text first and say you like him. If you do, he knows he’s got you, and you become boring to him.
I almost married the last girl that took the first step with me. We had four very good years. Toughen up buttercup.
Just get his contact and text him. Let him know you’re interested but you were too drunk you didn’t want to do something you’d regret. See how he respond, you don’t have to sleep with him.
Gonna break it to you: If this guy has any self respect then he wont text you. He hasnt and probably wont. So you have 2 choices:
You text him and get him.
Or you dont and nothing happens.
Its that simple. You either get over your petty problems or you dont deserve him. He did everything in the correct manner yet you cucked him. Well you get what you deserve I guess whatever option you choose.
He shouldn’t have tried to kiss you while you were drunk and he wasn’t. That would have been bad enough with both of you drunk…
I wouldn’t call your doubts irrational. As far as I know, flirting with / lustig over somebody isn’t the same as really being into them.
If you want to know if this particular guy sees you as an easy hookup, contact him, suggest doing something that can’t easily lead to sex.
There is absolutely no shame in shooting your shot and being turned down. Just be careful if tend to fall for someone really fast.
Increase self-esteem, please. It probably wouldn’t end up working out anyways because there is so much insecurity here. Also, the fear of rejection is so high that you’ll come up with any excuse not to pursue the guy. And I get it, maybe you were turned down once and feel eternally unworthy…
Go ahead and keep trying. But in the process know that you are completely worthy of being happy on your own.
Then hopefully you realize it’s not nearly as big a deal as you make it.
I did the same thing with a girl from work last week but I got so many issues that I’m not really ready for a relationship till I straighten them out
Yeah, so he pursued, and you rejected him. You regret rejecting him for your unknown reason.
You are scared he’s going to reject you after he already signaled interest and rejected him, and you want to get him to the make a move after you telling him no?
From a 3rd party perspective, I don’t understand you at all, even with your additional context. You have to be direct, you are sending a lot of mixed signals.
We only have one life. Just tell him how you feel. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You’ll never know whether he likes you or not if you don’t say something. If he rejects you, yes it will hurt. But you’ll move on.Fear makes us miss opportunities. Fear makes us regret. Don’t let fear win.
Begone foul troll
Girlllll you gotta find this guys ASAP! This kinda chemistry is hard to find! I think you’ll regret it forever if you don’t text him. Honestly, i can understand why he didn’t contact you, because he was respecting what you said (that you weren’t interested). The fact that he respected your thoughts is a GREEN FLAG!
From what you said, this guy clearly seems interested in you! You should definitely text him!
First of all, your signals are VERY confusing. All men would just walk away. Even women if its vice versa.
If you like the guy, text him. But like an other person said in this chat, if you’re too insecure, you should probably work on yourself before being in a relationship.
Limiting beliefs (such as thinking he’s here only for the hookup) are the worst!
You don’t even realize how they shape your thinking patterns until you’re in such a low point you start to explore them.
Try reaching out, talk to him and see for yourself the level of chemistry you have.
Don’t let your fears come between you and your happiness!
It happened to me twice and I’m a boy .
I’ve never gave them a second chance.
Can’t share feelings with a hesitant person, it’s dangerous.
Then text him you fucking dumbas.
I genuinely don’t understand the level of entitlement you have to have to still expect HIM to text you after you’ve rejected him.