A couple of months ago I got a std from my ex-boyfriend. When I first found out I had it all started out with extreme pain. The first thing that came to my mind was an std and I even told that I might have it but he told me he wasn’t sleeping with someone else. I went to the doctor the next day and was told I had an std/sti. I called my boyfriend which he became mind blown and told me that he will get tested. I get confused and pretty much start cursing him out and he gets mad and argues back. He blames me for it and denies giving it to me. I have had exams previous and multiple test and was never told I had anything. He gets tested and tested positive and apologizes to me only to admit he slept with another girl. It also took him a while to tell me who the girl was. I broke up with him and several different occasions he has tried to get back with me. I am mean to him each time I see and pretend like he doesn’t excuse. We haven’t talked in months now and I moved on to two other men. A guy friend believed that I am a complicated woman and should forgive my boyfriend for what he done because it was a mistake. The second guy I dated told me I was a very mean person for being mean to my ex when he tries to reconcile. My ex himself has called me bitter for not forgiving him. After multiple attempts he doesn’t want to get back together but wants forgiveness. Am I being a rude person?
9 comments
No, you’re not being rude! He doesn’t deserve forgiveness. He cheated and put your health at risk! I would stop even responding to him!
Wtf? No, he does not deserve forgiveness (also, practice safe sex. Always always always use a condom, and get tested every few months, even with established partners!)
Anyone, especially any partner/potential partner telling you you’re in the wrong is NOT worth your time, don’t risk intimacy with them. The deserve NOTHING.
The forgiveness is up to you. The question is why does he want forgiveness so bad? Is he possibly hoping that once he is forgiven, you will take him back?
The easy way out is to let him know he is forgiven. However, you might have fiorgiven him, but you will never date or ever be intimate with him because you now have no trust in him within a relationship. You are moving on and so should he.
You can forgive him for your own sake, but that doesn’t mean you have to speak to him ever again. Forgiveness is about you letting go and not carrying hate/anger around inside of you. It is not giving him a free pass or acting like nothing ever happened. You can forgive and still not have anything to do with the other person.
Nope. You are just fine. You do not need to forgive a guy that broke your trust, cheat and gave you a STI. You also do not need to justify crap to these other two who seem more his friend than yours.
No he intentionally inflicted emotional, mental and and physical (STI) trauma on you. He does not deserve anything.
Absolutely bloody not. No, you should not forgive him.
>. A guy friend believed that I am a complicated woman and should forgive my boyfriend for what he done because it was a mistake.
This person ^ is a bad friend. It was not a mistake. Your ex had unsafe sex with one person & then had unsafe sex with you knowing full well there was a risk of STDs. He may not have known 100% he’d pass anything to you, but he knew it was a risk. And he took away your right to make an informed choice about whether or not to expose yourself to that risk. That’s utterly despicable behaviour & it’s disgusting your “friend” would try to defend it. Not to mention outright lying to you about sleeping with other people when confronted.
>The second guy I dated told me I was a very mean person for being mean to my ex when he tries to reconcile.
Thank this person ^^ for showing you so early on that he’s a complete AH as well. You have every right to cut your ex out of your life & not want to reconcile no matter what the reason. Because you’re an adult with bodily autonomy and no means no. But, as it turns out, you have an *excellent* reason for being “mean” to him.
OP, please don’t let these AHs shift the blame to you for someone else lying & infecting you with a STD.
So you must be stepped on to avoin being seen as mean?
Tell your ex to forget your number, that you don’t care for him enough to forgive him.
Block him if it’s needed, and don’t let your future relationships have an unwanted opinion about YOUR past.
“Oops I lied, wanna give it another go?”
What even with these people.