So I’ve (20f) been seeing this guy (20m) who is the same guy I gave my first bj to and things truly are great between us. We’ve only had sex twice. The first was in a car and another was us kinda tipsy. He told me we can have another “first time” moment and be special since ours as a couple weren’t necessarily the most romantic places ever. Now I have given him a blowjob 3 times and he’s eaten me out once. i was the one who initiated the sex first for his bj and while I dont really expect him to perform oral on me, he still did once on his own accord. When we had sex, I was shaven because obviously and I also was during the first time he went down on me. Our first time was in early October and he ate me out during the end of that month and I noticed that one time he did go down on me, he didn’t really look down there as much as you’d expect. I know most people close their eyes when performing oral so I didn’t think much about it. Now flash forward to this month. Night of December 17 after we did Christmas gingerbread houses, we were making out and getting handsy, the norm and all. His hand was right on the crotch area through my underwear and he was rubbing me for a bit, until I gave him a sign that I wanted more for which he stuck a hand inside them. He felt me down there for about probably 10 seconds and took his hand out, now saying how he needs to finish wrapping presents before his parents came home. That’s when I felt like he was suddenly grossed out by me from how abrupt he stopped and the other incident where he closed his eyes on me. I didn’t mention anything about it until just a bit ago where I asked him
“are you grossed out by me?”
He said “what, of course not.” Now I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved to know that he wasn’t . But then I asked him
“Do you find me attractive? Like all of me?”
also please note that I wasn’t trying to get him to pay me a compliment or anything like that, I wanted him to tell me the truth on why he doesn’t want to perform oral on me.
He said he does find me attractive and that I’m beautiful and how I must be crazy to think I’m anything but. Well I responded with a blunt
“It seems like you never want to go down on me or finger me or anything. Is there something you don’t like?”
When I say this conversation was embarrassing, I mean it 💀
He then told me “I love to pleasure you, believe me I do”
I told him back “then why don’t you? Please tell me.”
His exact words were “you being so bare down there is a bit creepy. I’m not a fan of just bare.”
Now I always assumed guys prefer girls completely hairless so I always shaved. Plus I have 2 older sisters who say to always shave down there so i pretty much grew up on doing that.
But I didn’t really know how to respond really because wtf do you say to that. So I just said “oh I’m sorry “ but he assured me he was sorry. When I asked if he had a reason why he found it creepy, he just said “it’s unnerving to me when someone, boy or girl, is completely bare and hairless in the crotch area. Like it doesn’t look right.”
I then told him I’ll be sure to be more natural for him and after thinking about that, it kind of does make sense?
Idk if he thinks bare means “childlike” I’m assuming that’s what he meant.
I wanted to share this to Reddit and get you all’s
thoughts and opinions and see if this is normal. Do all people really find completely shaved down there creepy?
TLDR: boyfriend said shaven and bare vaginas are unnerving which is why he doesn’t go down on me
44 comments
I mean, it’s weird that he seemed kinda revolted but the childlike thing probably is right, if I was trying to go down on my girlfriend or finger her and I kept thinking of children I would be turned off fast. I say just stop shaving as much and if he still does the same shit be worried then, until then though he just overreacted a bit I kinda get his reasoning, I wouldn’t be the same way but maybe he has a lot of intrusive thoughts he just doesn’t mention.
Well seems like you have an easy fix. People like what they like and you probably don’t need to overthink it.
Bare isn’t my favourite look either, it just looks like something is missing. That said I wouldn’t use that preference to avoid going down on my partner or say anything to make them think I’m creeped out by their genitals.
That’s pretty shitty and I’d be bothered. If you didn’t like his grooming habits would you do the same thing to him or find a gentler way to express your thoughts before it became an issue? Bad communication and a pretty immature attitude.
I honestly don’t think you have a thing to be worried about. Take him at his word. Honestly y’all communicating about it shows how much y’all are invested.
No I’ve met more people who prefer bare over bush…but I think it’s all about preference and both are acceptable. Although I completely shave myself, I agree with your boyfriend on the fact that bare isn’t natural. I personally don’t have a problem with whatever someone chooses to do down there, I don’t think it makes someone “unnerving” or “unattractive”but if he feels that way and you aren’t bothered by that and you’re willing to grow it out for him then give it a go! It’s honestly not that bad. My ex was the same and I compromised with him that I’d switch back and forth every 3 months, that way we both got what we liked.
Stop mowing and start growing!
Do all people? No. Everyone is different. Some people prefer bare and have a strong aversion to hair. Some, like your boyfriend, are the opposite. Most people are in between.
There’s nothing wrong with preferences. Just remember that yours matter too. If you don’t like hair, you don’t have to grow it for him. It is your body.
I prefer bare over heavy shrubbery but my favorite is a short landing strip. FWIW my wife only like bare on vacations and landing strip normally. And I never asked why.
I actually always leave some hair there kind of like a landing strip but a little triangle, because I absolutely hate how childish and baby-like it looks without any hair at all. So I get it!!!
I like bare but it’s for practical reasons. I can see where it might bother some people but my focus is not easily distracted when there’s a snooch in my face.
It’s a preference. I’d never shave, but you do what you are comfortable with. Don’t shave yourself because you think that’s what men want, do it because it’s what you want. Slick kitty or big bush, it’s up to you!
I prefer my guys to be bare, and every guy I’ve been with has preferred me bare. But everyone is different. Do what you prefer, and if you don’t care either way, do what he prefers.
I get where he’s coming from. I always loved having hair down there because it makes me feel like a woman. If you aren’t comfortable with hair but want to please him and yourself, maybe try keeping it trimmed. So you can have a tamed “mane” and he can have the hair 🙂 I also get waxed too so I get both sides.
First of all… Well done for communication. Since communication is the key to any successful relationship you score 10/10 for that.
Secondly, everyone has their own personal likes and dislikes. If it makes no difference to you then stop shaving.
If you can’t stomach being hairy then find a compromise.
Seems like you’re on pretty decent track forward already.
Well done for taking the bull by the horns. Or the pussy by its whiskers. 😜
I do understand where he’s coming from. I do not like a bare man at all. It looks so strange to me. That’s not to say if you can’t find the snake for the bushes you can’t trim that hedge up. However, I’ve always kept myself bare until more recently now I keep a small landing patch. My reason for bare is because I honestly thought men were disgusted by our pubic hair. I believe that thought process was brought on by porn and my older sisters saying men wouldn’t go down on me if I didn’t shave it all.
We all have our preferences. I think porn has made us all believe that everyone hates hair, but that’s not true. It’s not true for a lot of people and it’s apparently not true for your dude.
I wouldn’t take it personally, it’s an easy enough fix. It’s just a preference. Try growing some back and see what happens 😉
Important questions how do you like it
It’s a preference, i prefer myself to be shaved at all times, i love the look/feel of it, plus, makes cleaning while on period so much easier XD
Just like some people prefer a bare vagina, others prefer some hair. If anything, better for you lolll
In my experience, ive asked my bf if he cares if im fully shaved or not, he says he likes it bare but he did tell me when im trimmed and have hair, not completely bare it gives it more of a “woman vibe” if that makes sense. Ig some people are weird about hair, others can care less.
You could always buy a trimmer and just trim the bush a bit. That’s what I do.
Yeah I don’t think it’s a problem. I prefer a little hair down there. Just more of a preference
The guy is weird for thinking “it is creepy, if you have no hair down there”. What is giving him those vibes? The effort that you put to shave?
Sounds like a normal and healthy conversation for a young couple
As a guy I like hair down there on a woman. I definitely don’t like a wild bush, but a nice neat triangle or a landing strip is great. From my perspective the reason I don’t like the hairless look isn’t because it looks child like. It’s because my brain is wired to think that’s what a naked woman should look like. When I see a picture of a naked woman with shaved pubic hair, it’s almost like someone has got a magic eraser and censored that whole region out. Most of the time it just looks like nothing.
That all said, I don’t think hairless looks gross and would absolutely still enjoy intimate moments. But 110% I prefer a small amount of hair.
In case you’re looking for suggestions, I’ve used this trusty trimmer for years now:
https://a.co/d/9kk5tOa
Never cared about it. But when it comes to my gf I found extremely sexy she’s having pubic hair down there. Embrace yourself
People have different preferences. If there are no other red flags, weird behaviours, it’s simply how he prefers it. It might even change. When I got together with my partner, i was getting waxed regularly and he liked it, then he aksed me if i could let it grow out a bit so i did, then we’re back to fully waxed again.
There is one thing i would possibly try to dig into: we understand that he has a preference, but that doesn’t mean he should abruptly pull away at the sensation of a shaved pussy. Maybe there is more to it that could be discussed in time.
Edit: fixed typo
After reading the majority of comments and your responses, my suggestion, Miss Lillystration, is to let your pubic hair grow out into a “full-grown woman’s bush,” then just trim the edges as necessary when it’s bikini season, leaving the rest alone.
One thing that never seems to come up in discussions about shaving is that a full bush on your mons, like a full bush on your man, acts like a cushion/lubricant when he’s deep inside you and your pubic bones are smushed together. See if you notice the difference once you’ve regrown your bush. . .
Everything is fine babe. You are fine, he is fine. You just need to talk more. I had the opposite experience a few weeks back. My girl has been shaven the whole time we have been together (6 months) and we went about 10 days not seeing each other. We finally get in the bedroom and she drops her pants to reveal hair. It took me by surprise and I made a comment. But I think they upset her, despite her knowing that I am a full time joker. I apologised and we forgot about it. People say silly things, people have different preferences …. You don’t need to change who you are but you should talk about it …. Perhaps grow a little landing strip to make him feel comfortable but most of all just talk …. And don’t make him feel like he “should” be doing anything. Just talk and explain what you like and why you shave
Perhaps even explore why he thinks it’s creepy
Much love to all xx
I honestly prefer a landing strip. My past wife had seasonal hair, shaved a pine tree got Christmas, fire cracker for July 4th… Completely bare is nice and all but it gives me a child vibe at times which I have to work through. And I used to draw the pattern on her and then do the shaving.
Good you have asked him. Letting the hair grow should not be a problem for you and it will be worth it.
It’s weird how society and individual preferences change over time.
My wife and I became sexually active before the era of internet porn. When the trend of hairlessness became widespread we were both a little disturbed, like a pre-pubescent child. Over time it became ubiquitous and normalized. Eventually she decided to try it out. Now we prefer to keep her waxed. I like it either way, but going down when she’s hairless is just so sexy.
Not all people feel that way, but some people do. I personally don’t like it either when my partner has no pubic hair because it makes me feel a little like I’m with a boy and not a man. It’s just a weird visual signal to me. So yeah, I can totally understand why he’d feel that way. It’s nothing to freak out about. It’s just his preference.
Anyway, go ahead and grow out your pubes. Waxing and shaving is such a pain, so this is really a great thing for you.
Personally, I would never go bald anyway due to how sensitive my skin is to irritation and how fast my hair grows. Anything other than a buzzcut and some conditioner and/or lotion to soften the hair up is going far above and beyond the call of duty.
>“Do you find me attractive? Like all of me?” also please note that I wasn’t trying to get him to pay me a compliment or anything like that, I wanted him to tell me the truth on why he doesn’t want to perform oral on me.
Don’t even worry about this. Even IF you were trying to get a compliment from him; he’s your boyfriend. That’s not above his paygrade.
But for the whole story all-together; it’s up to you. If his reasoning is true, then I think it’s fair game for both of you. It’s a choice you make and you have the right to keep making it. You can also take his preferences into consideration and trim instead of shave; it’s all up to you.
I had a very similar things with my partner at the start.
I just shaved because I thought I was ‘supposed to’ but he said he likes a little hair as it’s more womanly. So I leave a bit now.
Took me a while to get used to.
I’ve never shaved and no guy has ever complained about it to. I’d just tell him, “If you don’t like it, don’t eat it.”
I personally don’t like men or women’s genitals to look like children’s.. but that’s just me. I much prefer the adult look and feel.
Could be worst, could be hairy as a jungle.
I prefer neatly trimmed as not to get pubic hair between my teeth.
You should be able to groom yourself any way you see fit. If you like being clean shaven then that’s what you should do. If it’s always been more of a chore, I think you will find it freeing to let the hair grow back.
I am like your boyfriend (although much, much older) and I think hair not only looks better, it feels better. Soft hair against your face when giving oral feels so good.
If you like to be bare but your other half likes hair, shave the bottom from the top of your lips to the bottom and keep the top hairy!!! My wife does that and it’s the best of both worlds!!!
I’ve had this happen to me as well. My ex had 3 daughters. I’ve been waxing bare for 10+ years because I like the way it feels. He was bothered by it and asked me to grow it out a little.
I tried, but I’ve been waxing for so long it barely came back in patches and the fuzziness bothered me. So I told him he needs to get over it if he wants to have sex with me. 🤷♀️
> I was shaven because obviously
this is not obvious to me. this seems “obvious” to you only because porn culture glorifies it. not “all people” find it creepy. but i do.
personally i think it’s incredibly attractive when a man thinks the way your boyfriend does about it. it’s sadly rare.
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He seems super mature for his age. Most men are boys who’ve been conditioned by porn to expect women to shave. I personally prefer bush and natural as I want to be with a grown woman not a child.