So I have an ex who invited me to this romantic place. We would go in a few months. A few weeks back she initiated phone sex and I hoped it would be the start of something. Since then she has only searched for friendly contact and I got the feeling she wasn’t into me at all. I told her I wanted to be more than friends and she agreed. Now she tells me she slept with yet another guy. And I told her I need time.
I don’t pretend she can’t do that. It’s her life. But I have so much experience with people asking me along because I am useful: a man as pseudo body guard, the guy with a car, the guy who doesn’t drink so others can. I don’t want to be her friend, but I do want to keep it “friendly”. The latter because she is useful – I might need her help later.
Should I tell her right away to cancel the trip?
Edit: she just told me she fucks these guys because she is so lonely. I just don’t feel any empathy for that. Like: I offered to be her partner. And all she does is tell me about the guys she fucks. Why would she do that?
2 comments
So basically your relationship with this woman is mostly based on how useful each of you are to the other???? Just stop.
It sounds like you are both using each other. Your her emotional support since she’s lonely (she’s already admitted she uses other men) and since you didn’t explain how she’s useful to you, I can only imagine it’s work/friend circle related which is why you want to keep it friendly.
Side note – I don’t believe in staying friends with exes (especially those I have feelings for or have slept with) and I burn those bridges to the ground. I sleep better knowing that I’ll never have to deal with their yo yo like behaviour again and I’ve always found that no matter how great someone is – you’ll always meet another person just as great (if not better).