Basically I enjoy talking to people, but I’m not actually interested in the person I’m talking to, a bit contradictory I know. It’s really impacting my ability to socialize and it always has because since I’m uninterested I don’t end up carrying the conversation and ask questions about them. This has made it hard to make friends because people can tell I’m uninterested. Is there any easy way to become interested or atleast appear to be interested?
3 comments
Nope. People bore me. Im only good with activities and speaking about specific topics. Dont have a single random thought running thru my head so I cant converse either unless there’s a topic at hand. Im pretty funny with perfect timed comedy but it has to be the right moments. U probably aren’t interested in the small talk most people bring.
You gotta be actually interested, if you don’t better don’t fake it.
Hi OP,
I can suggest one technique for you. I call it “ruddering.” Let me explain. I’m a good listener, and in conversations, I often find myself listening more than talking. I don’t necessarily mind this (listening is easier than talking) but obviously it has a high potential for boredom. (NGL–most people are actually pretty dull.)
So, anyway, what I do is “rudder” these people by directing them toward topics that I find more interesting. This is based on the notion that almost *anyone* has at least *something* interesting to talk about (which I find generally to be true).
A woman I used to work with was on the spectrum, but I sometimes found myself in situations where a decent conversation would have made things run more smoothly. Trouble was, she would start yammering about all kinds of stuff. As it turns out, however, she was an expert on two subjects: rabbits, and the nation of Hungary.
So anyway, ruddering: “Wow Jennie, it’s pretty interesting to hear about your problems with “hot dog fingers” but last month you were telling me about how rabbits….”
Anyway, you may not find rabbits or Hungary fascinating, but most people have *something* you will find at least moderately interesting. If you can find these topics, and rudder people onto them, it can make conversations substantially more tolerable.
So I guess my point is you don’t have to find the *person* interesting if there are *subjects* where they can have interesting things to say.