When someone is telling a story one on one or in a small group, is it normal to say stuff like “oh really!”, “uh-huh”, “yeah”, “interesting” at the end of statements while they are still talking?

6 comments

1. All about timing

2. Kinda depends on the person.

   Responding with those words gives assurance that the sharer has listener.

   Maybe that someone has a previous case where s/he got her/his story cut by someone using with those words. Or maybe the tone of those words sound like they aren’t listening at all and are just pretending to listen

3. As someone else said, it’s about timing. Had a 35 minute conversation with a client today, which was mainly them explaining their life situation and their will. It was a lot of “right” “of course”, etc.

4. I constantly think about this when someone is telling me a story, do I look/sound engaged? Nod your head and keep eye contact so i look like im very interested. Do i sound disingenuous with my “wow, really?” remarks?
   I don’t think it’s normal.

5. It depends on tone and amount. In linguistics there is a term for it “backchanneling” which basically means conversational signals that show you engaged or interested without adding to the conversation or stealing focus. The problem is the same token can be used if you aren’t paying attention because it carries no weight of its own the same way it can be used when you are legitimately interested.

   What comes in from here are other tokens. Genuine questions that turn the conversation cooperative instead of a monolog. Or other phatic backchannels like eye contact, leaning in, et cetera. And presentation, tone, usage, et cetera.

   It could also be that specific person has a different subcultural structure for conversation. Like the way that shaking your head side to side can mean no in the US or yes is someother countries, they might have different ways of signaling interest or disinterest.

   Edit: an example of this is when you are on the phone versus in person. I nod a lot to signal I’m listening but when I’m on the phone to my folks or at work, that signal is lost. I’m trying to be more conscious of it and use the tools you mentioned on the phone but not as much in person.

6. Don’t think about it too much