My boyfriend’s low libido is impacting our sex life.

I’ve (20F) been dating my boyfriend (22M) for 3 months. Before we had sex for the first time we spoke about our preferences and we both agreed we were a little bit kinky and love to try new things in bed. I have a high sex drive so that was fab. The first time we had sex we we’re drunk and it was amazing, really passionate and loving. We had another really good session where he dominated me and introduced me to anal, but ever since then it’s like all passion is lost. I’ve tried to initiate sex by wearing nice lingerie or buying a cock ring for us to try. However he never seemed too excited or turned on. That’s when he told me he thinks he has erectile dysfunction and he struggles to keep it up.

When I found out I was extremely accepting and supportive, I asked if he wants me to carry on initiating sex and he said yes (but he may not be able to keep it up all the time). In my eyes that’s absolutely fine, it happens and it’s completely normal. The issue is that he never initiates sex. He never seems to want it when I initiate. I understand that he may have some insecurities that are preventing him from getting turned on but it feels so shit to be rejected time and time again especially when I’ve put nice lingerie on or made myself look pretty.

When we do have sex there’s barely any kissing or foreplay, we jump straight into sex – it’s like he wants to get it over and done with. So when we do actually have sex it’s not even that enjoyable for me because I haven’t been turned on enough cuz there’s been no fore play. I can’t remember the last time I’ve got head because he doesn’t think about it unless I ask him to do it. If he does lose his erection he will finger me a bit but never enough for me to cum and it always seems like it’s a chore for him to do it. He admitted himself that it’s an afterthought because he is so focused on his erection.

Whenever I make any sexual comments or jokes about having sex outside or something a bit kinky he brushes me of and just says it’s weird. He just doesn’t think about sex at all, he doesn’t randomly get hard during the day and it’s rare that he will have morning wood.

I just don’t know how to handle the situation, I’ve spoken to him about it and told him how I feel. He said “how do you want me to turn you on, what foreplay do you like” and I’ve explained and showed him many times but he still just keeps jumping into sex. It just feels shit when you don’t feel wanted. My love language has always been sex. I value it highly and think it’s one of the most passionate and romantic things in a relationship. I’ve always been used the guy getting an erection during cuddling or wanting to touch me and have sex multiple times but with my current boyfriend it’s like sex doesn’t even cross his mind. We are only 5 months in and I do hope something changes because it’s not something I would even consider breaking up over. However this early on in a relationship you should be in the honey moon stage and can’t keep your hands off each other.

The first two times we had sex were great. I don’t know what’s changed or if they were just a fluke. It’s a shame because we genuinely love each other and most of our disagreements are about not having enough sex or me nagging for some foreplay.

Please let me know how to deal with this, any opinions or suggestions would be highly appreciated.

*Before anyone suggests I start masturbating to help with my high sex drive -I already do.