In my teens, I had a fetish for the maid at home. She wasn’t attractive or anything, idk why I had this. I almost went to the point of asking her for a Hj but I did not. I feel weird and embarrassed about it. I used to masturbate whenever she was working (not in front of her of course) and it always stayed in my head. Was this normal behavior or some deviancy that I had?
3 comments
Seems like a power kink?
Sometimes unconventional beauty strikes us as attractive. You were young and your hormones were raging. She was there and a convenient muse.
Thought 1 is that she WAS attractive to you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty standards have always changed over time, you can’t control what you’re attracted to, etc. You were attracted to her, that’s the fact, don’t try to rationalize it.
Thought 2 is that you gravitated towards her because she was in a subservient position to you. That’s a bit more worrying, and I’m really glad you didn’t act on your impulses, as it would have been a horrible situation to put her in – someone she works for trying to coerce her into sex. But maybe you have a BDSM dom-sub thing? It’s something you could look into exploring with another consenting adult now.